False Impressions
by mtk1970
Summary: A misconception kept them apart. A once in a lifetime experience might be enough to bring them together. Bella and Edward are about to learn some home truths about themselves and each other as they take a journey to Australia and find that things aren't always what they seem.
1. Chapter 1

Introduction

EDWARD

Fire and Ice.

Fragility but still the strength

Warmth versus coolness

Openness... yet reservation.

She was a contradiction in terms and that in itself was what made her so interesting...if only she would be willing to let me in enough to experience every aspect of herself; not just the ones that many would see as her negatives.

I would give anything to be the one on the other end of her unwavering friendship and her beguiling smiles.

It would make my day if, just once, she looked at me with the same emotional warmth that she gave to the other people around us; if I could see those chocolate brown eyes light up for me as someone worth knowing.

Unfortunately that was not to be. Bella Swan held no love for me. To her I was nothing but the person she held disdain for, the person she only put up with because of our intertwining friendships with people who meant something to the both of us.

I had long given up on making her see me in a different way. I had tried and failed. It was difficult to fix something when you weren't aware of how it was broken in the first place. She had made it quite clear that for some unknown reason I was on her list of least favourite people and we had fallen into a completely useless relationship of ignoring, baiting and hidden jibes.

It caused me to ache with bitterness and confusion that Bella Swan was not my friend and would likely never be what I truly wanted and needed her to be...my everything.

I loved her.

She saw me as nothing.

...and I hated the whole sorry situation!

BELLA

He was beautiful but I told myself that that meant nothing to me.

He came across as kind, smart, loyal and friendly...to everyone but me.

He was every girl's dream of the perfect man...even mine... but I fought against that every single day and I even believed I was winning...mostly.

He was hard to ignore... but I managed, with a lot of effort.

His presence made me want too many things that I would never have with him...things I would never allow.

Even as the non-friends that we were, he unknowingly controlled me and I resented that...I wanted him to be nothing.

No one understood what I warred with every moment he was around. No one got how a usually easy going girl, such as myself, could hold so much malice for a man they considered the good guy. They did not know that my attraction to him actually made me feel like less of a person; made me feel morally inept.

The problem was my vision was jaded...no matter what good things he displayed I still knew the truth of it...I knew what he was capable of.

And I refused to be the girl who would accept that. No matter what...Edward Cullen was not for me!

**Interested? This is a story that I have many chapters already written for so updates should not be too far between. Hope you enjoy reading and feel free to let me know what you think.**

**Cheers**

**Michelle**


	2. Gauntlets Thrown Defensive Mode

**So here we go with the actual story. Hope you enjoy **** I wouldn't normally do both POV in one chapter but for this one you get two for the price of one…**

Chapter One

EPOV - Gauntlets Thrown

I was second guessing myself...again. It happened way too regularly for my liking these days. I used to be so confident in myself; knowing my capabilities and accepting the things I still had to learn. That had changed though with one meeting with the girl who I would be seeing within minutes if I could just get up the courage to walk through those doors. Maybe doing this was wrong. I was putting us both in a situation where we would have to interact 24/7, not just the odd occasion when we were forced to be together for our friends sakes as we were now. My frustrated sigh echoed around me before I took a deep breath and with a determined action I opened the door.

This opportunity was too good to give up just because of one girl's animosity. Bella was just going to have to accept my presence on a more regular basis.

The room was pretty much full at this stage but my eyes immediately went to where she was. They always did. She was like a magnet for me and I swore at myself for the millionth time that I could be so readily aware of her attendance when it was obvious she wouldn't care one way or another about me being here. She was sitting on a table with her long legs swinging backwards and forwards nonchalantly as she laughed up at something Jasper was saying to her. Jealousy wormed its way into my chest; not because there was anything romantic going on between Bella and my cousin's boyfriend. No... purely because he could act naturally with her without the inevitable wall being thrown up; the wall she kept just for me.

"She won't bite," Emmett stated carelessly as he pushed his way from behind me. I hadn't heard his approach so was taken a little by surprise with his sudden appearance.

"You don't think?" I said tongue in cheek.

He laughed and looked me up and down before shaking his head. "Actually I will reword that. She won't bite...me. You...now that is a completely different story and probably highly possible." He grabbed onto my arm and pulled me towards the back of the room so that we could join our friends.

The enthusiastic greeting Emmett received from Bella was not replicated for me but I hadn't expected anything different. Alice and Jasper were a whole different story, giving me their hellos through smiles and warm hugs or handshakes. I forced myself to look at Bella and spoke with a slight frostiness to my voice that came through months of practice.

"Hello Bella."

She inclined her head and gave me a dispassionate look. "Cullen." No sooner was the word out than she was turning back to smiling at Emmett. Alice gave her a resigned look of reproach but said nothing. The two of them had learnt months ago not to allow their respective relationships with me ruin their own friendship. It had almost happened and they had recognised their importance in one another's life so they wouldn't let it occur again. Alice attempted to cover up Bella's rudeness with her own brand of enthusiasm.

"So are you excited Edward? I cannot wait until we are actually on our way. This is going to be the best thing any of us have ever done. I can feel it." Alice smiled at all of us and it was hard not to respond positively to her assertions. Jasper gave her a quick hug and the loving look that passed between them was something I did not want to look at but valued anyway. Jasper was good to my cousin and I loved him like family because of it.

"Sure I'm excited. I am just glad I got accepted into this program." That was entirely true. Even though I had been wondering if this was the right thing to do only moments before I truly wanted this opportunity and when I had been accepted I had been extremely happy.

"Why wouldn't you be? We all know you are the golden doctor boy in our course Edward. As far as our professors are concerned you can do no wrong." I spun around to find Angela Weber and Ben Cheney staring at me with amused smiles on their faces. I quickly hugged Angela and then shook Ben's hand. It had been Angela speaking and I chose to ignore the scoff that came from Bella at Angela's words because I knew Angela had spoken without any kind of rancour at all.

"And that would make you the golden girl Angela? I have never heard any complaints about your abilities." I shot back at her because we both knew that her abilities as a doctor had never been questioned. She was a class A student and we all knew that too.

Angela laughed. "Of course. I am kind of awesome you know."

I laughed alongside of her and the feeling was good. It was nice to have the air around us lighten up a bit after having to deal with Bella's less than happy greeting. Angela and Ben were an integral part of our group and they often managed to alleviate some of the negative feelings that seemed to follow us when Bella and I were in the same vicinity. No one spoke of it but I knew it must be frustrating for them as well, seeing two of their friends at loggerheads and not being able to do anything about it.

"I guess that makes you and I second best, hey Jasper," Ben deadpanned and Jasper grinned appreciatively.

"Kind of takes the pressure off so it's a place I am more than willing to be in," Jasper drawled and then smirked when Alice hit him on the shoulder and told him that he wasn't second best at anything.

Emmett's chuckle interrupted our teasing interactions. "Well all I can say is that I am glad to be a mere engineering student at this point. With the four of you in the mix as doctors extraordinaire I would have had no chance in getting a place if I'd had to compete with any one of you." He punched me good naturedly in the shoulder and I tried not to blanch at the strength behind his innocent hit.

His words drew my attention away from our little group and towards the rest of the people who were milling around the room. Some I knew and some I had never met before. The university had started this program to get a range of students interested in doing something outside the box in terms of the career they had chosen. Jasper, Ben, Angela and I were all doctors in training and along with two other chosen students we would be working in outback Australia to help man hard to resource medical units and hospitals. It would count as part of our internship and was highly sought after by those students who wanted to experience life a bit differently.

Along with the six doctors there would be four teachers, two engineers and six nurses; all working in areas that needed assistance over in Australia. Bella and Alice were keen to be teaching in a completely different environment to what they were used to on their regular pracs and Emmett had been lucky enough to get a position as one of the engineers who would be offering his assistance in rebuilding some of the more hard hit areas of recent natural disasters. I recognised a few of the students and as some of them caught my eye I gave them a general nod of the head and small smile. Generally though, the people I was with right now were the ones who mattered the most in my life and I was happy that we were going to experience this together.

"I wonder where we will be placed and who with?" Bella mused pensively. Our small group of friends had discussed this on previous occasions and we were all more than aware that we could be split up during our time in Australia. One group would be heading to Windorah and another would be heading to Barcalmine. Alice had been adamant that we did not need to worry about it but I guess it was on more than just my mind if Bella's comment was any indication.

"I guess we are about to find out," Jasper whispered as people began to take seats around the room and a hushed silence pervaded as everyone's attention was centred on the front where the project leader was standing.

"Good afternoon ladies and gentleman and welcome to the beginning of what I hope will be a successful and enjoyable year ahead for you all. As you are most probably aware, I am Dr Carlisle Cullen and I am the man that you will probably be cursing during some stage of your trip." He grinned to show that he was only partly joking and Alice and I gave each other a look to say 'what a nerd.' We could do that, considering the man in front of us was family; Alice's dad and my uncle. "I know that it was outlined in your information package but I would just like to reaffirm that this trip will not simply be a sightseeing tour. You will be working hard in rugged and poorly staffed areas. You will be dealing with weather, customs, conditions that might not be what you are used to and you will have to survive because that is our expectation of you as the chosen students. This opportunity is not something to be taken lightly and I want you to walk out of this room today fully committed to what you are about to do, knowing that you will make a difference and that what you will learn will be beneficial to your chosen careers in future years."

A slight buzz was heard throughout the room as people took in Carlisle's words before everyone quieted again to listen to him more. After a brief summary about accommodation, conditions, the things we should expect and how we would be representing our university Carlisle moved onto the part that everyone was waiting for with bated breath; where we would be placed for the next year of our life.

"Okay, as you know we will be splitting this group into two ensuring that the towns you will be working in will be adequately staffed. The following people will be heading to Windarooh. Victoria Howard, Quil Aterea, Bree Tanner, Emmett Mccarty, Sam Uley, Tyler Crowley, Bella Swan, Alice Cullen," That produced muted squeals from beside me as Bella and Alice hugged one another and then gave Emmett a thumbs up " Angela Webber," Another squeal. "Ben Cheney, Jasper Hale." The boys were fist pumping one another now. Yes we were meant to be on the verge of being professional doctors but that didn't stop the celebrations and I was suddenly nervous that I was going to be left off the list and sent to the other town away from my friends; away from Bella. "James Hunter and Edward Cullen."

I sighed with relief as I took in the happy faces around me. Carlisle continued reading out names for the next group but I didn't take them in. Apart from one blaring problem within our group, and I wasn't talking about Bella this time, I was more than happy about how things had turned out.

"Well that seems to be it then," Carlisle finished. "I will be checking in on your progress with your respective supervisors and expect nothing less than glowing reports on each and every one of you. Other than that, please enjoy this experience. That is all for today. Check in time on Friday is at nine thirty am for your flight to Sydney. Please read over the contents of your information packs carefully so that you are fully prepared for all scenarios. Now you might like to take the time to meet in your two groups and introduce yourselves to the people you will be working and living with over the coming months. Thanks for your attention."

Carlisle was instantly engulfed with people who wanted to ask individual questions and the rest of us began to converse excitedly. The relief that seemed to engulf our group was palpable. We would have accepted not being together because this was after all a job we were doing and at some point we would be eventually distancing ourselves in our lives, but it seemed that we did not have to worry about that yet and the thought was comforting. Alice was sprouting off about how she had known we would all be together; she'd just had that feeling. I personally wondered if she had nagged at Carlisle until he had given her her way about who should go where. He would never dream of giving either of us preference in the actual applications to get into the project but he might have folded a little about where we were placed. I wasn't going to ask and just allowed myself to feel happy about the eventual outcome.

"Hi Tyler." Bella's voice brought me out of my thoughts and I saw a tall, deeply tanned, brown haired guy walking towards us. He was grinning madly at Alice and Bella so I could only assume that he was the third teacher in our group. Bella's introductions to everyone proved me correct and his introductions were followed up with more when Quil and Bree hesitatingly approached us and we all tried to make the nurses feel as comfortable as possible given that we were a friendship group and we didn't want them to feel left out at all. A friend of Emmett's from his course joined us also named Sam Uley and I vaguely remember meeting him at some parties we had been to with Emmett. As we all got to know one another I felt a small prick of wariness, knowing that there were still two missing people and one of them was someone I had very little regard for. No sooner than the thought went through my head than the man himself materialised next to me, along with a tall red headed woman who was regarding me with interested eyes.

"So Edward. There will be no rest in our competition whilst we are away, I see," James drawled with a touch of derision. James was one person I intensely disliked because of his arrogance, lack of ethics and his near obsessive need to beat me at every little aspect of our university life. He treated the people around him like they were something on the bottom of his foot unless there was something he felt he could gain by befriending them and the way he treated woman was beyond callous. The fact that he would be accompanying us on this trip was the one truly negative aspect of accepting to join this project. It didn't help that I was aware of Carlisle's fury when he was told by the university board that James Hunter must be given a spot regardless of the usual processes put into place to choose the correct candidates. I had overheard him talking to Aunt Esme about how unethical it was to give someone a position just because his father was contributing a whole lot of money to the university. He had complained that he had done everything by the book with regards to his own family so that Alice and I could not be seen as getting in only because of our relationship with him and then he had had to turn around and give some spoilt brat a position even though his grades and references were nowhere near the standard he expected. In the end Carlisle and the other three professors who had made the choices submitted to the universities demands, but they had made James an addition rather than replace someone who should have deserved it in the first place. Therefore for the first time in the five years since Carlisle had instigated this project, seven doctors would be representing our university, rather than the usual six.

I chose to ignore his immature dig at me, merely giving him a look I hoped conveyed for him to grow the hell up. He smirked and it was quite apparent that he had so much more to say. Before he could continue baiting me Angela stepped in and introduced James to the rest of the group and I watched with rising anger as he made a perusal of all the girls, no doubt considering who would be his next conquest. My finger nails became embedded in the palm of my hand when I noted his eyes flick over Bella in his usual ogling manner. He was so not going there; I didn't care how much she hated me, she could not be involved with such a creep and come out unscathed. The way I was holding my body must have alerted him to my anger and he gave a calculating look between myself and Bella and his grin widened ever so much. My reaction had just told him everything he needed to know. He had just found a new way to get to me.

"Bella...as in beautiful." James whispered as if completely enthralled. He took Bella's hand and raised it to his lips. With every bit of strength I had in me I held back from pouncing on him to stop him from using that crap to charm her. "How absolutely appropriate. I imagine that your boyfriend must be devastated about you leaving him for a year, Bella."

Bella pulled her hand away from him and with a slight sense of joy I saw that she subtly wiped her hand on the side of her jeans to get rid of his touch. Her face exuded confusion as she responded to his question.

"Um, nice to meet you James and ah...there is no boyfriend to devastate so..."

"Good to know," James winked at her and an embarrassed flush inked her skin. If it wasn't for the cause of the blush I would think it was absolutely adorable but right now I was too busy seething at what James was trying to achieve and the horrible thought of Bella actually falling for his act.

Emmett stepped in closer to Bella and placed his huge arm around her shoulder earning a smile from Bella and an inner fist pump from me. "Bella is single because she has impeccable taste and only the best will do. Isn't that right Belles?" Emmett stared James down and with that one look I knew that Emmett had seen what I already knew. James was not a good person and Emmett did not want him to be chasing after the girl he regarded as his kid sister. He might as well have been saying 'and you are not the best,' James lifted his eyebrow but didn't back down from Emmett's glare. Stupid boy. You did not challenge or cross Emmett when it came to his family or his friends unless you wished to be living in fear for the foreseeable future. I had learnt that the hard way when Bella first started giving me the cold shoulder and Emmett and concluded that I had done something terrible to her. It was only after much convincing that he finally relented on me and realised that I honestly had no idea what I had done to deserve her hatred. Given that Bella would not make any of her own disclosures he had accepted that it was something he could not fix by beating the crap out of me and left Bella and I to stumble along as we saw fit.

James shrugged his shoulders and gave me a pointed look of cockiness. "I wouldn't disregard me as the best. What say you Edward? Do you think the lovely Bella should get to know me better?"

"I am standing right here you know," Bella angrily stated as Emmett let out a quiet growl from beside her. "And I don't know why you would be asking him because he and I can't stand each other so his opinion means jack to me."

I calmly looked at Bella, even though on the inside I was fuming. Her outburst had reminded me that I was getting myself worked up and all protective over a girl who had no regard for me.

"Bella can make her own choices James. It doesn't matter one way or another to me." If that was hurt in Bella's eyes she quickly hid it and gave me a look of restrained aloofness. People were shifting uncomfortably around us but I couldn't drag my eyes away from her and so I noticed when her eyes narrowed and the aloofness turned into anger. At that precise moment I felt an unknown touch to my arm and realised that the red headed girl was now simpering next to me.

"James will do what James wants to do," She said as she ran her fingers up my arm and I shuddered at the invasion. "This conversation is getting boring. You, however, look anything but...tell me Edward Cullen are you available also?"

"Edward is as available as they come if you want to be one of his many and you're not interested in any kind of commitment." Those words came from Bella and my mind went into overdrive. What on earth was she accusing me of now?

"What?" I said in a strained voice. "Bella, I...just ...what?"

A quick glance around the group let me see that the majority of us were flabbergasted by the turn of events since James and Victoria had come over to join us. Angela, Quil and Bree all had their mouths gaping open in shock and Alice was looking between James, Victoria, Bella and myself with chagrin. Emmett's arm was tighter around Bella's shoulder now and Bella was looking at Victoria with evident hostility. Jasper appeared to be amused but totally calm at the same time whilst Ben, Angela and Sam did not know which way to look. James face was showing glee at my discomfort.

Victoria literally purred at me to get my attention away from the others. "Well that would seem perfect to me. Seems like you are a man who takes opportunities as they arise, Dr Cullen and I admire that in a person. I guess I should have known that since you obviously worked hard with your uncle to get here today."

I tugged at my hair, not sure how to react to this whole ridiculous situation. "Um, did you just insinuate that I got my place on this project because of my connection to Carlisle?"

"It's nothing to be ashamed of. We all do what we have to do to get what we want. Why wouldn't you use his pull to get here? I would have if I was in your shoes." Victoria stated as if it was the most reasonable thing possible. Gasps could be heard around me but I concentrated on Alice only as this was as much of an insult to her as it was to me. Jasper held her back so that she wouldn't become involved and I was thankful because this was not how this trip was meant to start; with us all fighting. I turned back to Victoria.

"I'm not even sure I want to..." I began but I was interrupted by a harsh voice that I hardly even recognised even though it was always in my thoughts.

"Well I am pretty sure I have something to say and you Victoria are way out of line. Edward might be a Cullen but he earnt his place here, the same way we all did. He did the applications, he did the interviews, he showed them what an amazing asset he would be and he is an incredibly talented doctor who deserves this chance. How dare you suggest that he is anything less; that he could possibly use his uncle in that way," Bella had stepped closer to us and I fought the urge to step backwards away from her because she looked so incredibly angry ...and more than a little hot right now. "And don't even get me started on the slur you just gave to Dr Cullen who has given you, yes you Victoria this opportunity also. Dr Cullen would never ever give preference to anyone in his family when it came to something like this. You owe Edward, and apparently Alice because after all she is in the family too, an apology and maybe if you put more effort into thinking about what you say rather than pawing all over complete strangers you would be better off."

Slack jawed expressions of shock were pretty much evident on all out faces as we took in Bella's fury. Victoria seemed unable to come up with anything clever momentarily and Bella took the time to try and calm herself down.

"What?" She questioned angrily as she noted that we were all staring at her in surprise.

Angela was the one to break the stupefied silence with her wary observance. "Honey. Hell just froze over."

"What?" Bella's voice held lingering anger but now a whole lot of confusion.

"Bella. You just defended Edward!"

And damned if that wasn't the best thing that had ever happened to me!

BPOV - Defensive Mode

I was livid!

Painfully so.

And not only with the red headed bimbo, who had the audacity to insinuate that Edward was getting a free ride because Carlisle was his uncle. No, not just with her. I was entirely infuriated with myself because yet again I had lost my focus when it came to Edward. When I looked around at the stunned faces surrounding me I knew I had made a huge mistake and that rankled.

"Bella. You just defended Edward." Fell from Angela's lips and the oddity of that had not been missed by any of the people here who knew me. Their expressions of incredulity taunted me and when I chanced a look at Edward I noticed that besides the shock, he was displaying some sort of satisfaction that I didn't even want to think about.

Oh no Cullen. We are not even going to go there.

"Hmmm she's a spitfire this one. Exactly my type, Eddie." I wasn't entirely sure that I had heard correctly but when Edward's head whipped around to glare at James and his expression turned from stunned to furious in a matter of seconds I became more certain of my hearing. What I wasn't so certain of was why Edward was reacting so strongly to James and words that shouldn't mean anything to him. I chose to ignore their stare down and concentrated on the other people standing around me.

"I was sticking up for the whole Cullen family," I stated begrudgingly but before I could say anything more Victoria spoke. I was surprised that my outburst had kept her silent for so long. She didn't look like the type who would sit back and allow someone to have a go at her. I prepared myself for her scathing words but was left confused when instead of addressing me she began to artfully retract her words to Edward who was now looking at her with a blank expression.

"Oh Edward. I am sorry if I offended you. I didn't mean to insult you," Her hand was on his arm again and her head was tilted so that she could cast him a guileless gaze that was no doubt meant to melt his heart. I couldn't bring myself to see how Edward responded to her manipulation. It was none of my business and I had already shown the others that I wasn't as immune to him as I wanted them to believe. I arched my eyebrow when Victoria turned to Alice and apologised to her also. It pleased me to see that Alice's only response was a narrowing of her eyes and a slight nod of her head. Alice was not stupid and she would see through Victoria's facade.

"Of course the two of you worked hard to get into the project and I am sure I will get to see just how good you both are in your respective fields once we get to Australia." Victoria's high pitched voice was getting on my nerves now and I wished that she would just stop her talking and give us all a break. Instead of my wish coming true I had to listen to more of it as she tried to make her voice become lower and more alluring for Edward's benefit. "I intend to do my best to make up for my little mistake and can guarantee you Edward that I will be a wonderful nurse to your doctor."

I coughed and spluttered in disbelief at her shameless attempt to be seductive but then gained control of myself so as to not embarrass myself again. With a quirk to his lips Emmett showed me that he was entirely amused by Victoria's words and Edward's faltering acceptance of her apology. I rolled my eyes at Emmett and gave a slight shake to the head and his answer was a quick loud boom of laughter.

"Well on that note I think I might see you all later and go and do...um...that thing I was intending to do and leave you people to play doctors and nurses on your own."

Edward stared directly at Emmett with a murderous glare that only made Em smile even wider.

"I'm with you Emmett," I quickly agreed because there was no way I was going to be able to stand here and handle any more of the flirting. I directed my attention around the group, particularly the new people I had met today and tried to give them as cheerful a smile as I could. "It was nice to have met you all. See you on Friday."

Alice linked her arm with mine and gave me a reassuring smile.

"I will join you. Bella and I need to get a few last minute things done. As Bella said it was nice to meet you all and I know we are going to have a great time together."

I was entirely sure she didn't mean that for everyone!

I felt her move onto her tiptoes as she stretched up to kiss Jasper goodbye. "You're okay without me for a couple of hours Jazz, right? You did after all promise Edward that you would help him at his apartment."

Relief rolled off Edward as he gave his cousin a grateful smile and then eagerly began to say his goodbyes to everyone else in the group, including a very put out Victoria who was trying to cling onto him as if she could stop him from leaving. Jasper was trying very hard to keep his own huge smile off his face as Edward took Alice's avenue of escape.

"Spoil spoilt," Emmett leant down to whisper in Alice's ear so that only she and I could hear. "I was having fun with Eddie."

"I am not letting that leech get her claws into my cousin, Emmett," Alice hissed through her pretend smile as she sent a scathing look towards Victoria who was completely unaware of anything but Edward. "He was uncomfortable. I helped him out."

Emmett harrumphed as the three of us said our final goodbyes and left the room. Emmett quickly took off in the direction of his dorm room, leaving Alice and I alone. She looked behind us and when I saw the direction of her gaze I noted that Jasper and Edward were following not far behind us, along with Ben and Angela. Alice gave them a quick wave and hurried me away from them all.

"So Bella. Would you like to tell me what that was all about?" Alice questioned as soon as we were out of earshot.

I knew exactly what she was talking about but I tried to put off the inevitable. "What do you mean?" I asked innocently.

"I mean..." Alice hesitated and rolled her eyes dramatically, indicating that she knew I was trying to get out of this conversation. " ….what happened back there to make your usual ice princess routine thaw out and actually have a kind word to say about one Edward Cullen?"

How was I meant to answer that when I wasn't even sure of the answer myself? How could I tell Alice that even though I had been giving her cousin the cold shoulder for the past five or so months that I could not deal with that horrible girl having her hands all over him? How could I explain that I was hypocritically upset that anyone would dare accuse Edward of being anything less than a man with great skill and decent morals? I was so completely confused by that notion when the reason why I despised him so much was because I knew his principals were in question – that he was able to do something that I could never ever agree with, regardless of his reasoning for doing it. Why had I slipped and gone off at a girl who had kind of been affirming what I already believed about Edward's ethics?

Maybe because what you believe him capable of has never been proven by his current behaviours.

My inner voice was doing me no favours and I firmly stamped down the wayward thought. My confusion was too hard to admit so I made my voice strong and replied to Alice confidently instead.

"It wasn't about him. I was not going to let her sully you or Carlisle's good name and that meant I had to say something nice about Edward." I shrugged to show my nonchalance about the whole situation.

"Oh right. You were merely sticking up for me and my father. Edward had nothing to do with it? You didn't look a little green when Victoria was all over him? That was my imagination then?" Alice fired off at me with way too much enthusiasm.

"Yes it was your imagination. Victoria can do anything she wants with Edward..."

"Except insult him, apparently." Alice said knowingly.

"Alice can we not do this please? We both know that what she said was garbage and even if I don't like Edward as a person I do know that he got into this program on his own merits and not because of Carlisle. I called Victoria on it and it came across as more than it was. As far as her having her hands on Edward she can have him. I certainly don't want him."

"Me thinks you doth protesteth too much my dear Bella and one day you are going to explain to me how you can be so negative about a man that you are obviously attracted to at the same time."

I choked on my own retort as I completely took in what she was alluding to. "I...I am NOT attracted to Edward Cullen...how can you even suggest that Alice? He... I...there is no way... he is the last type of person I would ever be with...he...he..." I ended there not wanting to cause any friction between Alice and me when we had done so well in keeping my dislike for her cousin separate from our friendship. Alice's face darkened a little and I wondered if I had already stepped over that line in my attempt to deny I felt anything for Edward. She took a deep breath and gave me a pleading look.

"I just don't understand Bella. You liked him once. What could he possibly have done to make you think so little of him? He is a good guy and as for how I can suggest that you are attracted to him...well that is easy. I have two eyes and I can see that you work hard to keep him out even though deep down you want it to be different. He is not immune to you either. The two of you could have something special if you could just get over this animosity."

I chewed my bottom lip in apprehension. What she said had a ring of truth to it but I would not accept that he and I could be together because I wanted to hold on to my dislike of him…..I desperately needed to. I huffed at her so she could see that this was not a subject that I wanted to continue talking about. "That is never going to happen Alice...drop it."

Alice did not want to cede to my demand. "Bella just tell me what he did to you and maybe we can fix it. Maybe it was a misunderstanding. He sure as hell has no idea what he has done and I have never seen him be anything but a gentleman to you, even when you are ignoring or taunting him with unkind words. Surely he deserves a second chance. Everyone deserves that, don't they?"

"Yes, I guess in general but sometimes people just have to take responsibility for their own actions and that's all I want to say about it. Edward did wrong and has to face the consequences one way or another for it, even if it is only through my lack of acceptance. We've been through all this before Alice and it gets us nowhere except at each other's throats. This is one thing I cannot share with you Alice. I made a promise and I intend to bide by that. You and I are just going to have to agree to disagree when it comes to Edward."

Alice looked like she wanted to say more but thought better of it when she saw the determined expression on my face.

"Okay," she said with a resigned sigh and a whole lot of sadness "But you are right in that we disagree because I can't imagine Edward ever doing anything so awful that he deserves what you've been serving him up. I will drop it because I don't want our friendship to be damaged but you must realise that I care about him a whole lot too and what is happening between the two of you is affecting other people beside yourself."

I couldn't stop the bitterness seeping through as I answered her appeal. "Oh Alice, I am more than aware that this effects other people. You can't even begin to imagine. I wish things were different for so many reasons but they're not and I am not going to change my mind. I love you and I love our friends but when it comes to Edward, the subject is closed."

We stood face to face, eyeing one another with trepidation because there was oh so much more that could be said on the subject and it wasn't in Alice's personality to just give up as I was requesting. I didn't want to start this trip off with a huge gulf between me and my best friend. I couldn't bear it. She finally gave in with a slump to her shoulders and a half-hearted smile.

"He's the one for you Bella. I just know it." She whispered with the most earnest of looks on her face. I quickly averted my own eyes so I didn't have to see what she actually believed. There was no way I was going to tell her that….

….there had been a time when I believed in that possibility too


	3. Chapter 2: What Once Was

**Thanks to everyone who is reading; regardless of whether you review or not I am really happy to see people looking at the story **

**A bit of a look at how they met….**

Chapter Two

BPOV - What once was?

The reality of being in Australia was way beyond anything I had ever dreamed of. We had arrived early this morning after spending 17 and a half gruelling hours on planes and a 3 hour layover in San Francisco. The early flight in to Sydney meant that we had only been able to dump our bags at the hotel we were staying at for the next week, as our rooms had not been ready, and we were now exploring the sights of the city while we waited for our keys to be handed over. Everyone had split into smaller groups and had headed in different directions. Of course I found myself with the regular crew with the addition of Bree and Sam, who had chosen to come along with us.

"This is pretty awesome, isn't it?" Alice questioned as she sat comfortably between the legs of Jasper and swivelled her head from side to side to take in everything around her. We were sitting in a small park on the edge of the harbour in a spot where we could see the Opera House opposite us and the Harbour Bridge a little to our left above us. It was a clear, beautiful, sunny, winter's day. Ferries were moving in and out of the quay, carrying their passengers to places yet unknown to us; buskers entertained the masses as people walked past or stopped in curiosity; workers went about their usual lunchtime procedures whilst tourists such as ourselves allowed the atmosphere to envelope us in its newness.

We all agreed with her in one way or another; nodding or speaking our thoughts out loud. It was amazing that yesterday we had been living our normal lives in Seattle and now we were sitting by the harbour in a country on the other side of the world ready to embark on a whole new challenge.

"I'm glad we got to see this before we headed up to Queensland," Ben made a sweeping motion to include everything we could see around us. "I've always wanted to see the Opera House and Harbour Bridge up close and personal."

"I didn't realise the harbour was going to be so lovely," Angela sighed with contentment.

"We definitely need to get out onto the water," I agreed whole heartedly with Angela's appraisal of what was in front of us. "I bet it would be lovely at night."

"So romantic," Alice swooned with a quick glance at her boyfriend who gave her a wink back.

"Looks like there are some expectations there Jasper; a romantic evening out on the water for you two love birds at some point. Probably for you and Ang too hey Ben. If only the rest of us were so lucky." Edward teased light-heartedly and everyone but me laughed. I felt the familiar tug of resentment that resulted in me speaking before thinking.

"Is that all you think about Edward; getting lucky? There's more to romance than that you know?" I spoke through clenched teeth and he was immediately on the defensive.

"At what point in that conversation did I say anything about sex Bella. Gees will you give me a break. I know what romance is and I appreciate that Jasper and Alice, along with Angela and Ben have some in their lives." Exasperation rolled off Edward in waves. "Why do you have to turn everything I say into some hidden slur?"

"Um, guys...you might want to..."

I heard Emmett speaking but all my attention was now on Edward. Lack of sleep and the exhaustion of travel made me less capable of control and Edward was one who knew how to push all my buttons even if he wasn't aware of it.

"Psht. You wouldn't know romance if it knocked you over the head, Edward."

Edward leaned in towards me with ill-concealed anger written all over his face. "I guess you wouldn't know what my romantic capabilities are Bella because you were the one who stood ME up and chose NOT to find out one way or another."

My own body leant towards his so that I could snarl into his face and make it quite clear what I thought of his statement. "I chose to NOT become one of your conquests Edward; I didn't want to be that person who you threw away when you had got what you wanted from them and didn't need them around anymore."

His eyes widened at my accusation and for a brief moment in time it was just the two of us facing one another off; breathing accelerated and red faces displaying our anger. When a nervous ahem broke through our confrontation I quickly jumped to my feet and avoided looking at the rest of my friends. They had just witnessed way too much for my liking. "You know what? This is a useless discussion and I'm not having it. I will be back in a minute." I blindly turned away from the group and marched towards the spot where the ferries were mooring. I needed a little time away from his presence so that I could calm myself down again. Unfortunately Edward had not got that memo and I hadn't taken too many steps before he was next to me and grabbing at my arm. I nervously looked back at Alice and the others who were attempting to pretend they weren't interested in what we were doing. Edward moved us further away from them so he could have his say.

"No way Bella. You make all these accusations and then you never follow through with them. You hate my guts but you've never had the decency to explain why. We were getting on so well; extremely well if you had have asked me. You said yes when I asked you out and then when it came to the crunch, YOU stood ME up and from then on you've treated me as some kind of pariah. What changed? What on earth did I do? Because the way I see it I should be angry with you, not the other way around; after all I was the one who was rejected and treated like dirt."

His words put me on edge and made me think back to the time he was talking about. I looked into his eyes and wondered how they could look so clear of guilt when he had to have worked out that I somehow knew his secrets...that I knew what he had done and that was why I had not gone through with our date. Surely he was intelligent enough to put two and two together and come to the correct conclusion. It confused me that he was able to maintain this constant pretence that he had done nothing wrong. He obviously believed he had got away with his appalling behaviour since no one had called him out on it.

"Please Bella. Think back to the time we met and then explain to me how it went wrong. I am more than willing to do whatever it takes to fix it but I really need to know the 'what' in order to work out the 'how'. Our friends over there," he pointed towards our group of curious bystanders "deserve better than walking on eggshells for a whole year because you and I can't get on. I'm not asking you to marry me; I merely want us to be civil to one another."

With his entreaty came the memories and for a brief moment in time I was taken back to a place where Edward was new to me…and had been immediately appealing.

"_I am so excited," Alice was literally bouncing up and down on the chair as she craned her neck to try and see over the crowd of people in front of us. A near impossible feat for someone who was as small as Alice. Angela and I smirked at one another at the way our friend was fidgeting._

"_Really? I wouldn't have known." I said with amused sarcasm. My look around the room was much more casual because, unlike my best friend, I wasn't waiting for a special someone to walk through the door. The place was pumping already with loud music and laughter ringing throughout the club. Angela, Ben, Alice and I had been here for about half an hour and were waiting for Jasper and Emmett to arrive with their special guest who they had picked up from the airport earlier this evening. I hadn't been entirely sure that he would want to be whisked from an airport straight to a nightclub for socialising after making a reasonably long flight but Alice had assured me that he would be more than happy to join us and none of us were intending on making it a big night anyway._

"_So your cousin is just that cool is he?" Angela laughed. "How long has it been since you've seen him Ali?"_

"_Oh, not that long really. Mum, dad and I went to New York a few months ago to visit the family but this is exciting because he is coming back for good. Dad has been trying for the past couple of years to convince him to come back here to study and he has finally succumbed to good reason."_

_I'd heard the story before, along with all of Alice's concerns about her cousin and her fear that he wouldn't achieve his dreams because it went against what his father wanted for him, but Angela hadn't so Alice explained everything to her and Ben as I sipped my drink quietly. Alice and Edward had been close growing up; both being the only child to their respective parents. When Edward Snr had been offered some big corporate job in New York he had packed up his family to move, much to the consternation of the cousins. This had happened in junior year of high school and the two of them had to be happy with constant emailing, phone calls and the occasional visit. I had missed meeting Edward by mere weeks as I had moved to Seattle to be with my father a month after his family had left, but I had made fast friends with Alice and in turn Emmett because they were never apart during school and as it turned out even in college, and the two of them had taken me under their wings. Once school was finished Edward had enrolled at university to become a doctor, much to his father's disappointment. Edward Snr wanted Edward to be a high flying corporate manager, who would be willing to take over the business when his father was ready to retire. To Edward snr, Edward was making a bad choice in being a doctor and it hadn't helped that his own brother, Carlisle was encouraging his son to go with his heart instead of his head. Obviously it had been a difficult time for Edward in New York with the constant harassment from his father to make a different choice and he had decided that he was going to cross the country and get back to his original roots in order to finish his doctor training in a more calm and encouraging environment. As a well-known and respected doctor and professor at Seattle university, Edward had looked up to his uncle Carlisle and felt he would be a more positive role model than his own father. Thus we were about to be graced by the cousin that I had heard so much about, from both Alice and his best friend Emmett, as he completed his doctor training at our university._

"_It's my turn for the bar. Orders anyone?" I questioned once the story of Edward had been completed and Ben and Angela were asking their own questions. Once I was armed with their orders I made my way through the crowd and waited for my turn._

_The bar was busy so quite a bit of time had passed before I had the drinks in my hands. I gingerly turned in the hopes of not being my usual clumsy self and tripping over and as I did so I gave a cursory glance towards the door which resulted in a slight warble of my legs and a quick intake of breath._

_My god that man is beautiful!_

_Amazingly I kept myself together and managed to keep upright as my eyes roved over the man who had just walked in, looking like a god incarnate. Everything about him screamed out perfection; from his long jean clad legs to the well-muscled arms that peaked out from the rolled up sleeves to the broad shoulders and then ...don't even get me started on his face. The chiselled angular features of his face were tempered by the softness of his plump lips and the eyes; oh my, the eyes were the heavenliest shade of emerald green I had ever seen which seemed to twinkle as he looked my way…._

_Oh shit, my way, which meant….._

…_.I had just been caught ogling._

_The heat rose to my cheeks but I couldn't look away. There was something familiar about him that I couldn't quite put my finger on. He gave me a half smile from across the room, that made me inwardly groan and it reminded me that I should be moving, not standing there staring as if I had never seen an attractive guy before. I forced my legs to move and after a couple of steps reality began to set in and I took in our surroundings more clearly. The godlike creature who had walked through the door and knocked me for a six, on looks only, was not alone. Bringing up the rear were two men I knew well, Emmett and Jasper and that told me everything I needed to know. If I hadn't been certain of his identity now I most definitely was after a high pitched squeal of excitement echoed through the bar and within seconds Alice had thrown herself at the slightly bemused guy as she hugged him enthusiastically. Luckily he had some strength behind that lithe body of his otherwise he would have been catapulted back out the door with their collision._

"_Edward!"_

_Jasper and Emmett both clapped Edward on the shoulder to give their condolences for Alice's over dramatic welcome in such a public area. Words were exchanged although I was too far away to hear them but Alice was clearly happy from the huge smile that graced her face. Jasper reached out for Alice and she was immediately in his arms so that he could give her a brief hello kiss. She began to motion the three of them over to the table we had been saving where Angela and Ben were watching the interaction with amusement and all of them started heading in that direction. I took in a deep breath, realising that I was going to have to bite the bullet and return there too for my introduction to the mighty Edward. I was suddenly nervous. If this guy could have such a profound impact from across a crowded room how was I going to react when I was close and his presence wasn't diluted? My question was answered within seconds when he turned from his course to the table, mumbling something to Alice who looked at me and beamed, and then made his way back to where I was standing in uncertainty._

"_Bella, right?" His voice was so smooth and rich in tone that I almost forgot that he was talking to me._

"_Um, yeah, I….how did you know?" My incoherent response only made him smile encouragingly at me. He gently took the tray of drinks off me and balanced them so that he could reach out a free hand to engulf my small hand in his._

"_Hi. I'm Edward. Alice's cousin," I nodded and he continued. "You're Alice's best friend and she has shown me pictures." He shrugged a little as if that explained everything. The familiarity from earlier made sense now because of course I had seen pictures of him too; apparently I was just way too dazzled to take in that information properly. "You know Alice and her enthusiasm for the people she loves. I have heard a whole heap about you Bella Swan and it's lovely to have met you finally." A crooked smile lit up his face and if I had been dazzled before I was nearly catatonic now with how expressive his eyes were and how delectably kissable those lips would be if given a chance. I winced internally realising that I was again checking this guy out and probably embarrassing myself by drooling. I gave myself an inner shake and forced myself to speak._

"_Of course, I should have known," I smiled at him and motioned to the drinks he held balanced on his oh so toned arm. "Um….thanks for your help and ah…..it's nice to meet you too,"_

_A lazy chuckle escaped his lips but his eyes held mine with an intensity that was doing funny things to my stomach. "Shall we?" He asked lightly and turned to signal with his free arm that I should go ahead of him. The whole way back to the table I could feel his proximity even though there was no touch involved at all. I was sure my face was a bright red colour by the time we got back to the table but no one mentioned anything and I quickly found myself a seat next to Emmett whilst Edward handed out the drinks I had got for the four original members of the table. I wasn't really listening as Alice made her introductions between Edward and Ben and Angela because I was way too engrossed in my own thoughts of how I was so completely enthralled with a man I had just met and that was completely out of character for me. I had never ever had the litany of feelings before that were now invading my consciousness and seemingly awakening dormant emotions that I truly never expected to have. Edward's impact in a matter of minutes had been consuming and frightening. I had to get a control of myself before I embarrassed myself completely._

_Edward's trip back to the bar to get something for himself, Jasper and Emmett, gave me a moment of reprieve to sort through what I was doing here. When Alice made a comment about me meeting her cousin I simply nodded and smiled hoping that she would not read anything into my sudden silence. The people around me were teasing one another and talking about the usual subjects; Edward's arrival, university, parties that had been enjoyed and the list went on. The whole time I concentrated all my attention on not turning my head, the way I actually wanted to, to watch one Edward Cullen make his way to and from a bar. Even though I didn't allow myself to look at him I knew the exact moment when he approached our table before he had actually even spoken; the thrumming in the air told me exactly where he was at. This whole awareness was putting me on tenterhooks; it was so outside my experience of interactions with men that I was extremely confused._

_Emmett shuffled over on the seat we shared and indicated that I should do the same so that Edward could sit next to me. With a mild sense of panic I felt Edward's movements as he took his seat and when the side of his thigh accidentally pressed against mine it was all I could do not to gasp at the touch. Edward's eyes darted to my face with a look of surprise and then averted them again with a mumbled sorry. He subtly rearranged himself so that he wasn't pressing against me anymore but I could still feel the heat of his body and I was mesmerised by the fact that he seemed to be swallowing hard before he joined in on the conversation. Maybe he had felt that surge of sensation as well? Surely that was not normal?_

_As the evening progressed I found myself relaxing more and joining in with the general chitchat. Edward seemed to be fitting in really well with the whole group and on many occasions his interactions with Emmett and Alice had me in stitches. On the few occasions where our bodies came into some kind of contact I noticed that he sent me furtive glances and I wondered again if he was feeling the electrical undercurrents that occurred with each and every one of them. Nothing was said and he shared his attentiveness between every single person at our table so I couldn't say that he was interested in me or not. I wasn't even sure what I would do with that interest if it were to occur._

_The night ended all too soon and our group parted in good spirits. Edward was going to be staying with Alice and Jasper who had recently moved in together, for a short while until he found his own accommodation. Emmett, Ben, Angela and I all had separate dorm rooms on campus that we returned to together. I went to bed that night wondering at the sudden and all encompassing images that I had of Edward Cullen and when I finally slept it was with his eyes firmly engrained in my head and no doubt in my dreams._

_Over the next few weeks our friendship bloomed but always under it was the ever present attraction that seemed to taunt me with its voracity. As a group we spent many times together, sometimes at a club, sometimes helping Edward find a new home and eventually helping his move in once it was found. Throughout it all Edward was the epitomy of a gentleman, lots of fun and consideration. We fell into a routine of classes, friendly interactions, study and a whole lot of fun when we were all together. I began to realise that I wanted more from Edward; I yearned for him to ask me out and maybe explore the deep seeded need I had to be with him alone but it never happened. He was always perfectly polite and enjoyable to be around and there were often times when he looked at me as if he wanted to say something but never followed through. He wouldn't cross that line from casual friendship to something more and I was beginning to wonder if the buzz between us was completely one sided; that it was only me that felt the anticipation of seeing him so strongly or if the touches that happened on occasion weren't as electric to him as they were for me. We got on really well; there was no disputing that but it was always within the group and never, ever alone._

_Two months after Edward's arrival life became more hectic and we did not see Edward, Jasper, Angela or Ben as often as usual due to their courses heating up and the high level of study they needed to undertake. I heard from Alice and Emmett that Edward was settling into the course really well and that he seemed to be achieving high marks and a whole lot of respect from his professors. His determination to do well at something that he loved was appealing to me and regardless of the amount of time his course took away from us as a group I was happy to know that his goal of becoming a doctor was getting closer every day. I couldn't help but wonder if anything would change between us when we finally got back to being able to see each other on a more consistent basis again. I had even talked myself into maybe asking him out, rather than the other way around because I was now sure that I wanted more from him and it didn't seem that he was going to take the first step. Absence apparently did make the heart grow fonder and I was to learn that that was the case for him as well; well at least I thought that was the truth of it at the time._

_I was readying myself for a night in, watching movies, with my roommate Jess, when my phone rang and a spark of excitement rushed through me when I saw the Id register. I held my hand up to Jessica and motioned that I would be a few minutes as I took the call into my room, leaving her to make the final decision about which movie we would watch first. Jessica had seemed a bit down lately and I had forgone a night out with Alice so that I could offer any support she might need from me. I had a feeling she had guy troubles but she had been pretty tight lipped about even actually seeing anyone so I was a little unsure about how I could help her except to distract her with a girly night in._

_I answered my phone with familiar butterflies somersaulting around my stomach. As soon as I heard his voice I found myself calming as the velvet tones enveloped me._

"_Hi Edward. Long time, no hear or see," I teased to try and cover my ridiculous reaction to him calling._

"_Hey Bella." He stated and I could hear the amusement in his voice. "I totally agree. It has been a long time and I guess that is why I am ringing." He paused as his tone suddenly turned from amused to kind of nervous sounding._

"_Oh," His hesitation was making me feel a little self-conscious. "Um I know you've been pretty busy with study and all so don't let it worry you."_

"_Well I was kind of expecting to see you tonight along with Alice and the others." Was that disappointment I could now hear? I remained silent as he continued. "Um, yeah I gave myself a last minute night off tonight and well I was hoping to see you….. because I….ah… that is…. Well you're not here and I kind of wish…."_

_His stumbling was kind of cute and I smiled against my phone, knowing he couldn't see it and be embarrassed even more. "Edward?"_

_I could almost feel the audible exhale of his breath before the next words escaped in a rush. "I miss you Bella. I hate that I haven't seen you for all these weeks except to give you a quick hello when we pass one another. I keep thinking I should call you and then I stop myself because I'm meant to be studying and making sure I fit in with all the new requirements of me changing universities half way through the semester and I know that as soon as I talk to you that I won't want to stop and that would be a distraction that I can't afford; a good distraction of course but still a distraction and tonight I gave in to what I actually want only to find that you weren't coming out with the rest of the group and basically...I wish you were here."_

_I stifled the giggle I could feel welling up in my throat. Edward had just made it very clear that he was thinking of me and that he wanted me around. The thought was more than pleasant._

"_I just called you a distraction didn't I?" Edward groaned softly and this time I couldn't keep the chuckle down._

"_I believe you did," I answered with a huge smile on my face that he couldn't see._

"_Probably not the best thing to say to someone you are trying to impress," Edward ascertained wryly._

"_Well lucky for you I am going to take it as a compliment and simply let you know that I miss you too, although I fully understand how busy you are right now and I would never want to be a distraction to you getting what you want from your career."_

_A sigh of relief echoed through the telephone and I wished I was where he was so I could match his expression to the sounds he was making. "I don't suppose you could change your plans and meet up with us? Alice said you are spending time with another friend; maybe she would like to meet up with us too?"_

_I was conflicted. Edward was finally reaching out to me and there was a possibility that he was doing so in more than friendship. I desperately wanted to race out and see him face to face but I had promised Jess a night in and I already knew she would not want to go out since I had tried to encourage her to do so earlier this afternoon before I had confirmed with Alice that I wouldn't be going out tonight, and she had been adamant about staying put. With a heavy heart I said the words that went against my actual wishes._

"_I'm sorry Edward, truly but I can't do that tonight. My roommate needs a bit of TLC and I made a promise to stay with her and try and brighten her night. I've already asked her to come out tonight and she refused. She's having a hard time of it. I wish I could though, I really do." Hopefully he would get the message that in any other circumstances I would want to be out with him. I didn't want to ruin my chances with him before I had even been given a go._

_A touch of despondency coloured Edward's response and it almost made me change my mind entirely. "That's okay Bella. I knew it was a long shot given your prior arrangements and I wouldn't expect anything less than you being there for your friend when she needs you; that's what makes you you." My face heated up with his compliment and I almost lost track of what he was saying. "I hope she feels better soon"_

"_I hope so too," I said into the phone and then decided to take the bull by the horns and make it clear how disappointed I was with the outcome. "But Edward I am really, really sorry that I can't meet up with you. It would have been nice to spend some time with you. I hope we get to do so soon."_

_Silence followed my declaration and for a moment I thought I had done the wrong thing in saying those things to him. I brought the palm of my hand up to my forehead in an attempt to rub some of my anxiety away but then Edward spoke and things were right again._

"_So would that mean that if I was to ask you out on say...a date...just the two of us...that you might consider it?" Edward's nerves were in full force again. He was using playfulness to hide them but I could still hear it in his voice. Was he seriously worried that I would say no to him? I couldn't imagine a single woman anywhere having the gall to say no to him._

"_I would probably consider it, yes." I said in a soft acceptance of his question._

"_Really? You would?"_

"_Yes Edward. I would love to go out with you," I laughed at his disbelief. How could anyone who was so amazingly good looking, intelligent and confident be worried about getting an affirmative answer from a plain Jane such as myself? It didn't seem possible that he had even asked but I was going to go with it anyway. As long as it resulted with us spending some quality time together I was not going to think about the machinations of it_

_The rest of our conversation was spent making arrangements on the where and when of this date. When I finally admitted to Edward that I needed to go so that I wasn't neglecting Jessica he apologised profusely but still sounded extremely happy as we hung up the phone. I had to admit I was pretty ecstatic myself and had a hard time hiding it when I returned to the small lounge area of our dorm to see Jessica staring listlessly at the blank TV screen. She startled a little but then gave me an attempt at a smile._

"_Everything okay?" She questioned in an overly bright voice._

"_Sure. Just a friend who wanted to touch base," I didn't want to go any further into it considering she appeared so depressed and unsure of herself at the moment. I was going to have to keep my elation to myself for now. "So what are we watching?"_

I brought myself back to the present and away from that fleeting time of ecstatic happiness I had known before Edward had gone and ruined it. I was instantly hit with Edward's confused and pleading eyes. If I was completely honest with myself I wanted to lose myself completely in those eyes and experience the good feelings I had had for him all those months ago again. I didn't want to gripe at him constantly or think negative thoughts about someone that I had previously had high regard for...

...but things had changed and new information had come to light

...and I was not allowing Edward to hurt me in that way again.

"Please Bella give me something here." Edward gave me one last appeal and hardening my heart against what it truly wanted I gave him the only answer I knew how.

"For our friends I will try to be more civil but other than that Edward, you will get nothing from me. Ever!"

**So there you go. A little bit of a look at their past but not really answering any questions for you yet I know – sorry about that ;)**

**Hope you enjoyed! **


	4. Chapter 3: Sightseeing

**Take a look at some small bits of Australia through Edward's eyes **

Chapter Three

EPOV - Sight Seeing

I wasn't playing the game anymore. My patience had officially been used to its capacity and I was no longer willing to be a part of Bella's mind games. Her juvenile refusal to speak about this as adults and come to some kind of resolution not only annoyed the crap out of me but went way against what I knew of her personality and character. I couldn't keep trying to work out what she was doing; it was driving me crazy and making me extremely infuriated with her. It was time for me to let go of the possibility of us ever being friends again. As she had so eloquently put it, I would get nothing from her…ever.

Why did that utterance leave me feeling so empty and dejected?

The two of us had returned to our friends and it was quickly apparent that she was going to hold to her word and be civil to me on the few occasions she had to address me at all. Everyone tried to ignore the white elephant in the room as we visited a couple of places around the Rocks and pretend that nothing untoward had happened between Bella and I at all. I was a little embarrassed that Bree and Sam had had to see our little altercation since they weren't used to it, as the others were, but besides giving me a sympathetic look they left it as it was.

Finally the time came around for us to return to the hotel and collect our room keys so that we could get ourselves settled and maybe have some rest to counter the jetlag that was creeping up on us. Thankfully I found myself paired up with Emmett in our room which adjoined to Tyler and Sam who were also sharing. My day would have only gone from bad to worse if the expectation had have been that I share in some way with James. Poor Quil was the unfortunate guy who ended up with him and as they took their bags upstairs I hoped that Quil was not the sort who would be easily railroaded by such a cocky person as James. Jasper, Alice, Ben and Angela had manipulated their room assignments so that each couple was actually sharing which left Bella, Bree and Victoria sharing a triple. Even though I was positively livid with Bella right now I still felt sorry for her having to spend the next few days with the annoying Victoria. Luckily for her, Bree seemed to be a really nice girl and she would at least have a bit of decent conversation.

I shook my head in agitation; even when I was angry with Bella she still managed to get my concern. That was another thing that needed to stop.

"So what's going on between you and the Swan chick?" Sam asked with curiosity as he sprawled across my bed and reached for the remote control that was lying on my bedside table. He and Tyler had finished unpacking and had come into our room to see how we were going. Emmett's stuff was still haphazardly strewn across his own bed so it left only mine to sit on whilst we conversed.

"Nothing," I answered bluntly and turned back to hanging shirts up in the cupboard.

"Come on. There is obviously something because there is some serious tension going on between the two of you. Is she an ex or something? That would have to be a hard situation to be in; travelling all this way and still not getting away from her."

Emmett guffawed and I glared at his smiling face.

"They're not exes, just two people who can't get their act together and admit that they have a thing for one another." Emmett stated with way too much conviction. I chose to ignore what he was saying. Emmett was one of the few people who actually knew that I had asked Bella out and that she had originally accepted. He was also one of only two who had seen how badly Bella's rejection had hit me along with the ongoing animosity she gave me; Jasper being the other. I was hoping he wasn't going to come out and give away my secrets to two people I didn't know well.

Tyler gave me a quizzical look. "Why not?"

"Why not what?"

"Why can't you admit to liking Bella? She is way beyond cool. There are quite a few guys in our course who wouldn't mind getting closer to her but she always keeps them at a polite distance," Tyler's words brought about an answering frown from me. This bit of information was not sitting so well with me. I chose sarcasm to hide my feelings about that particular topic.

"Well let's just say that there is nothing polite about the distance she keeps from me. She can't stand me."

"Why?" Again with the why questions. Maybe I could pretend I didn't hear him and get onto some other subject. Something on my face must have alerted him to my reticence to respond because he expanded. "There must be a reason. Bella does not come across to me as a person who dislikes people easily. I've known her for the few years we've been training and she has never spoken ill of anyone that I know. Which begs the question why doesn't she like you?"

Well now that was the million dollar question, wasn't it?

"I…well…I actually have no idea," I was embarrassed to admit it. I had racked my brains for many months now to figure out what I could have possibly done. I went through every little interaction we had ever had and wondered at what I had said or done that could have brought about such an aggressive response from her. I came up with nothing each and every time. All I could think of was that it had to do with outside forces; maybe a girl had said something unflattering about me, maybe a guy who was interested in her made out that I was less of a person than what I actually was. Whatever it was Bella was not willing to disclose and that left me with….nothing.

Emmett looked at me sympathetically but it was Sam who spoke. "From what was said today she seems to think you're some kind of player. Maybe that is a huge turnoff for her."

"Um. I guess that is a possibility even though I am not so sure where she got that idea from. The thing is that Emmett would be more likely to be a player than myself and she knows all about his little rendezvous with a variety of woman but she doesn't seem to take that information to heart. She is as close to him as ever. I have my doubts that the possibility of me being a player would have such a passionate reaction from her"

Emmett's proud grin spread across his face. "That is true. We all know how much I love the women and the benefits associated with being single," A lecherous quirk to his eyebrow had me throw a nearby shoe at him which he quickly dodged. "Need to be quicker than that Cullen but seriously …Bella probably sees you as being a player in a completely different light to me being one. She doesn't have feelings for me," He burst out laughing then with his own thoughts. "But I have to say she isn't very observant if she doesn't realise that you are the furthest thing from being a player there is. Way too uptight with the whole 'all women should be treated with respect and there is no time to simply go out and have fun with a girl even if she throws herself at you.'"

"Do we seriously have to do this? I get that you are disappointed in my inability to take up with every girl who even glances the right way at me and I understand that I am letting you down with my determination not to be happy with anything less than the right girl but that is just the way I am Emmett."

"The right girl being Bella of course," Sam said with complete understanding for a guy who knew very little of me.

"Um no. Bella and I….not going to happen. I am not waiting for her to be the right one. Not at all."

"Great. So you wouldn't mind if I had a crack at her. She doesn't seem to have the same issues with me as she does with you." Sam said with a calculating look in his eyes. My head whipped up and I was pretty sure my eyes were narrowed at the audacity of him even thinking that way about Bella. I was very close to telling him to lay off of her when Emmett's laughter rocketed around the room and he thumped Sam on the shoulder.

"Good one Sam. You had him going there for a minute but I am going to put an end to it before we have a full on brawl in this room, as entertaining as that would be," Sam laughed along with Emmett and I watched them confusedly. Tyler seemed to be as in the dark as I was.

"Oh you should have seen your face Edward. It was priceless. You are going to have to stop pretending you don't care about her because it is over every action when someone dares to talk about her. Sam is teasing you. He has a girlfriend back home who he quite likes, I do believe."

"All true Edward. Sorry I couldn't resist. Emmett is right. You have a thing for this girl and you need to work out what to do about it. I don't know her from a bar of soap but Tyler does and he seems to think she is a decent kind of person. Emmett loves her to death and hasn't attempted to hit on her so she must be special." Emmett thumped him for that comment but nodded at the same time. "If she is worth it you would fight for her and make her tell you what is wrong."

"You don't think I've tried that? I've given up. As of today Bella can have what she wants and I'm going to stop asking. You can't fight for something when one half of the equation is so adamant that you are a monster of sorts. I have better ways of spending my days. So if you all don't mind I kind of feel like a teenage girl here sitting down and gossiping about feelings and the 'she said, he said' and I would prefer if we just let it go and act like self respecting adults again. There's a whole new world out there and I say let's go and explore it."

"Done," Stated Tyler, much to my appreciation. Sam looked reluctant to let the conversation go but Emmett gave him a warning glance and he merely shrugged his shoulders to suggest he would go with whatever the general consensus was. Before I knew it the four of us were grabbing light jackets and heading down to the foyer to decide what we wanted to do next. I pushed Bella to the back of my head and tried to relax into a couple of hours of bonding with new friends in a new city.

How long my determination to keep Bella out of my thoughts would last, I had absolutely no idea.

A flurry of activity filled the next few days. A harbour cruise, visits to museums, a climb to the top of the Harbour Bridge, splurging at the casino and wandering the streets, pubs and restaurants of Sydney kept us all busy and made it easier to give Bella only limited attention.

Which was kind of a problem because whilst I was busy convincing myself that she didn't mean anything to me, James was making sure she had all of his attention and even though she didn't appear to be falling hook line and sinker for his false charms, she was still being friendly with him in a way I could only ever hope for.

Needless to say it had put me in a bad mood and I was a little short tempered in any of the interactions Bella and I did have with one another. She no longer took the bait though, as she would have before our altercation in the park. No she was holding to her word and being completely civil to me so that we didn't make the people around us feel uncomfortable. Me, however ...I was acting like a sullen spoilt brat who didn't get their way and she simply arched her eyebrow at me to let me know she wasn't impressed and would then continue on as if nothing had happened.

Well at least until the Bridge Climb which was both parts awesome and disheartening, if that was even possible? All members of the group going to Windarooh were placed together to climb Sydney's most notable bridge. The whole time we were preparing for the trip up I had to endure a close look at James attempts to seduce Bella. Every opportunity he had he would find a way to touch her or pretend that he was actually interested in her as a person and not just as a possible conquest. It didn't help that after any mildly successful attempt he would search me out and grin at me laconically. I began to wonder if his interest in Bella was solely to get at me and if that was the case he was slowly winning the battle. Up until now all of his efforts to get one up on me had been annoying but easily brushed off because realistically they hadn't meant too much to me. I didn't care if he beat me in a test; it didn't worry me if he made himself out to professors that he was the shining star within the course and that his medical observations were all his rather than an entire groups. I ignored his attempts to embarrass me in front of women and men alike whenever we were in the same vicinity. No, none of that mattered but now he had taken the unforgivable route of rubbing Bella's dislike for me in my face and possibly harming her in the process of making out that he actually cared about her.

Everything inside me was fighting to hold back from just decking him and being done with it.

"Seems that your Bella has a fan over there, my friend." Sam whispered conspiratorially as he stood beside me whilst we both awkwardly put on the unattractive grey overalls that all climbers must wear. I shrugged at him as if I didn't care but his snort told me that he knew differently. "I can't imagine that I would appreciate a man like him moving in on the woman that I cared about. I get the impression that he wouldn't be the kind to treat her right."

In agitation I looked across at Bree, Bella and James as they laughed at each other's appearances in the drab suits. Sam's words were way too close for comfort and I wanted to ignore the image of James and Bella laughing together in easy comradeship. "It's her business who she decides to get friendly with," My voice sounded flat even to my own ears.

Sam shook his head. "I don't think it would be a risk I'd be willing to take. There is something seriously wrong with that guy. I guess Emmett and I can do the whole big brother thing if you're not willing to step up to the plate and help her out." Bella had obviously worked her magic on Sam because his protectiveness was kind of amusing after such a short time of knowing her.

"Do what you feel you need to do. If I tried, it would probably only serve to push her straight into his arms," I admitted with a quick tug at my hair in annoyance that that was precisely what would happen if I showed Bella that her friendship with James was worrying me.

A round up call from our guide interrupted the conversation and we both moved forward to join up with everyone else for final instructions. Before too long we were chained to the rails of the bridge and making our way to the top where the views were entirely spectacular. Trying to live in the moment and not allow my negative thoughts of Bella interfere with this amazing experience I took in our surroundings with as much observation as I could. We had chosen the twilight tour because it would give us the opportunity to see Sydney in a completely different light; at the end of a day when colours took on an ethereal glow and it almost seemed like time was suspended until the darkness overtook. The choice was a perfect one. The hues that swamped the city and the harbour gave everything we could see a more enhanced appearance. It felt like we were suspended on air as we watched from above all the goings on of a city at its day's end. I was blown away with the whole thing and as I looked at the others I could tell they were feeling the same way. Everyone was in high spirits and enjoying this time with their friends, or in Alice, Jasper, Angela and Ben's case with their partners. The arrow of disappointment that I felt go through me at seeing Bella and James sharing their observations was quickly quenched by my desire not to ruin this moment. I determinedly gave my attention back to the views and for a brief moment conversed with the tour leader Nick about the different places we could see from so high up. He eventually moved onto other people's questions and I was left alone to contemplate this unforgettable adventure.

"It's breathtaking, isn't it?" The rich and honeyed tones of her voice as she quietly asked her question made my pulse quicken immediately. The surprise I had on my face that she was even talking to me was missed by her as she had all her attention on the city below us. Bella finally looked up at me when I didn't answer her question and our eyes met in confusion. Both of us knew this was not our standard interaction. There was no way she would normally seek me out alone to say something...meaningful. My forehead furrowed with my attempt to work out what I should do. She was still watching me intently as if she expected me to respond regardless of how things really were between us.

"Um. Yes it is pretty much one of the most amazing things I've ever done."

Her exhale of breath was audible because she was standing so close to me within the steel confines of the bridge. "Me too. It is one of those things you want to file away forever in your memories and always have to look back on."

And you wanted to share that with me? What are you doing Bella?

"I would have thought I would be the last person you would want to have taint those memories," I said despondently, completely unsure of what had made her approach me. When she lifted her head once more for my perusal of her face, sadness was etched there and all I wanted to do was pull her to me and tell her that it would all be okay; that whatever she had against me could be sorted out; that she didn't have to have this whole ice princess front with me.

"I don't know," She whispered uncertainly. "Just for this moment can we pretend that we are friends? This..." she waved to take in the vista before us "...this deserves to be shared with..." A slight shake of her head. "...never mind...I have no idea what I was even thinking." She went to unclip the chain that linked us to the bridge so that no one would fall whilst moving around but I put my hand over hers to stop her completing that action.

"Don't go." She halted and stared at the place where our two hands were suddenly connected. Her reaction made me briefly wonder if she could feel that flash of feeling that crawled along the inside of my hand where we were touching. I slowly let out the breath of panic I had when I thought she was going to leave. "You know that as far as I am concerned we are friends. You're the one who has the problem with me Bella, remember?" Before she could speak and allow the anger to overcome us once more I rushed to counteract the accusation. "Let's forget it for this moment okay. Let's agree to disagree once we get off this bridge but for right now let's just enjoy what's in front of us."

With a nod of her head she silently agreed to my suggestion, before stepping back to the spot where our arms grazed one anothers as we went back to taking in the atmosphere of twilight moving into night. All around us lights began to flick on and not a word was spoken as we watched the changes with a quiet sense of awe. The city was truly beautiful but it was the girl next to me that made this experience all the more satisfying. I was totally aware of every little movement she made, the feel of her arm warm against my own, the manner in which her breathing was just that little bit accelerated even though her face showed onIy calm. My resolution not to let her affect me had been broken already. I knew it was a long shot but she had finally reached out to me and if I could only somehow make her see that this was how things could be between us, maybe she would forgive me for whatever she felt I had done to her.

All too soon Nick was letting us know it was time to go back down and the quiet reflection Bella and I had shared together came to an abrupt end. Bella turned without a word but a small nod of acknowledgement and headed over to Alice and Angela so that she could walk down with them. I didn't miss the curious looks they were casting my way but Emmett drew my attention away from them with a jingle of the chain I was attached with.

"So you owe me big time big fella." His constant smirk was there again. He didn't even wait for me to ask why before the explanation fell out of his mouth. "...because if it hadn't been for me your little 'moment' with the fair Bella would have been ruined by James himself. He was hard to keep away, let me tell you, and it was quite apparent that Bella and your little display of sudden friendship and oneness made him a whole lot of mad. I imagine that he is going to be a lot more attentive to her from here on in, on the basis that he does not care to see you happy and beating him at something."

I could feel a slow smile begin to take shape on my face, even though I knew that I now had to deal with James being even more dogged about Bella. "Do you know what Emmett? I think to have that moment with Bella might have just made it worth it so thank you."

"My pleasure bro. You know I always have your back."

The few moments of reprieve on the bridge were not duplicated and Bella remained distant and cool with me again. Every now and again I would catch a glimpse of her watching me with a puzzled look but it would quickly melt away into aloofness if she noted my own scrutiny.

As for James, Emmett had been correct in his assumptions that James would become even more attentive and he was almost always by Bella's side. Bella did not seem to have any great love for him but was her usual polite self which was not enough to get him to leave her alone if that was indeed what she even wanted. I held myself back from making it clear that I did not like his advances, in the hope that he would rethink that she meant anything to me and maybe give up on his childish games. Didn't happen, much to my frustration and the two of them seemed to be getting closer and closer as friends.

My other problem was Victoria. Her initial overtures towards me had magnified once we arrived in Australia and even more so since the Bridge Climb we had all participated in. I was almost of the belief that James had given her the task of distracting me so that he could have a clearer run at Bella. She was constantly seeking my attention and ensuring that whenever we needed partners or small groups that she was with me. It didn't matter how I tried to ensure that didn't happen, she would manage to get her own way. Her touch made my skin crawl and it was hard not to grimace when she got to close to me. Emmett and Jasper found it quite amusing and did nothing to help me get her off my back. Alice was my only ally but she was often caught up with the other girls and couldn't always be there to save me.

So it was for this reason that I found myself sitting beside, and listening to, a very self satisfied Victoria in a full bus as she rattled on and on about subjects that had no appeal to me whatsoever. I would nod at inconsistent intervals before I thought more seriously of the possibility that I might inadvertently agree with something that I would later regret. That stopped that little evasion tactic very quickly and I forced my mind to take in what she was saying even as I watched the all too close interactions of Bella and James who were sitting a couple of rows up ahead of me. The couple of hours it was going to take us to get to the Blue Mountains were not going to be a comfortable ones for me.

On arriving at the first stop of our Blue Mountain tour, the Three Sisters, I let out a sigh of relief; for both the possibility of getting away from Victoria and her constant touching and also for stretching my legs after being so cramped up for so long. The whole lot of us meandered down to the lookout so that we could see the unusual rock formations that made up what was locally known as The Three Sisters. I ensured that I was with Sam and Emmett the whole time so that I wouldn't have to deal with Victoria. She seemed to get the message for once and went to spend time with some other poor, unsuspecting person. It gave me the opportunity to really listen to the Aboriginal Legend of the Three Sisters. Of course it revolved around a romance gone wrong ( or in this case three romances gone wrong) and how the Elder of the local indigenous tribe had turned the three sisters into rock to help protect them. Unfortunately the Elder was killed in battle and the three sisters were not able to be turned back to their human form and had to live until this day as huge rocks overlooking the Jamieson Valley. It was a popular tourist attraction and our guide let us know that for those of us who wished to do so later we could descend into the valley by using the staircase down the side of the sisters themselves. There was also the option of doing a camping expedition over night in the valley and it was something I was definitely keen to do although that would mean a more strenuous hike and it would start in a different place.

When we returned to the bus Emmett actually felt sorry for me and took his place next to me to stop Victoria from doing so. She huffily moved to another seat and I thanked Emmett under my breath. I wondered idly if someone could do the same thing for Bella so that I didn't have to watch James so close to her but it wasn't to be and they took their original seats. Luckily our next stop was not far and we were soon out of the bus again to be herded into the next tourist attraction, Scenic World. This was not the part of the day I was looking forward too; natural endeavours being more my forte but I did have to admit that I thought riding the steepest incline railway in the world was kind of cool and the rainforest we ended up in was very much to my liking. The fact that Bella sat between myself and Jasper and that at one stage the almost vertical drop made her close her eyes tightly and forcefully hold onto both of our knees was an added bonus. Thank god she had not been next to James for that little involuntary reaction. I laughed outright when I noticed that Jasper was copping that from both sides with Alice doing the exactly the same thing to his right knee. Unfortunately my amusement brought Bella back to what was happening and she realised she was touching her enemy so she quickly snatched her hand away as if I had burned her. I shook my head with a frown. She could never completely relax with me it seemed.

Lunch in Katoomba was preceded with a cable car ride across the valley with more panoramic views of beautiful bushland. I was beginning to enjoy myself immensely alongside of my friends and was becoming excited about the prospect of camping out overnight in one of the campgrounds that were scattered amongst the bush we had been looking at all day.

"You guys are camping tonight, right?" I asked Emmett, Jasper and Sam who were currently scoffing down food like it was our last meal. Emmett nodded enthusiastically without even attempting to talk through the mouth full of food he had but I was disappointed to hear that Jasper wasn't intending on joining us because of Alice.

"She's coming down with something; probably just a cold but the temperature out there during the night isn't going to be too conducive to her getting rid of it before we head up to Windorah to work. We're going to stay in the motel for the night." Jasper's explanation couldn't be faulted so I only responded with a 'fair enough' and looked at Sam to find out what he was intending on doing.

"I am definitely up for it although Jasper is right; the weather is going to be ridiculously cold during the night so we'll need to make sure we have some thermals happening. I don't want to just look at the bush from the top…I want to get down there in amongst it."

My thoughts exactly. I loved the outdoors and wanted to do the regular hiking gig and sit around a fire tonight with the sound of nature surrounding me. I wasn't sure how many people would be joining us but I wasn't going to forgo it for anything.

"You talking about the camping tonight guys?" Angela came forth with a number of the rest of our group. "Ben and I are in for sure."

"No can do for me," Alice said through a sniffle but turned to Jasper quickly to let him know that he didn't have to hang around with her if he wanted to go camping with the rest of us.

"As if that is going to happen Ali. You know I will be right by your side. There's no way I would leave you alone when you are feeling sick," Alice gave him a relieved smile that told me that even though she would have happily let him go off with his friends that she would appreciate his company tonight.

James spoke up and I hoped against hope that he was going to say he wasn't coming with us. His questioning of Bella made me realise that he was going to do whatever she chose and I had to reconsider that I would prefer them both to be with us where I could keep an eye and them, rather than them being alone to entertain themselves for the night.

"What about you Bella. Are you a camping girl? Are you going camping tonight?" Bella looked between all of us with an uncertain expression. Suddenly her eyes centred on Emmett and I.

"Are you two going?" She questioned quietly and I noticed her eyes flicked a little towards James before they came directly back to us. I answered with a simple nod but Emmett had finished eating so he gave her a verbal affirmative that seemed to relax her. "Then sure. I will go camping. It should be a bit of fun and we're here to experience all things Australian."

Emmett flung his arm around her shoulder and she relaxed into him almost with relief. "A whole lot of fun Bella B. We will be right there with you."

"She will need that Emmett. We all know how clumsy Bell can be," Alice said lightly so that Bella knew she was not meaning any great disrespect. "I'm surprised that you want to go Bella." If I wasn't so attuned to Bella at all times I probably would have missed the meaningful glance she sent James way and the answering tilt of Alice's head in recognition. What did that mean? Was Bella trying to find a way to get closer to James or away from him? If it was the latter she was going to be poorly disappointed because James frowned a little at the close proximity between Emmett and Bella but quickly shook it off and then let us know that he would be attending as well. Unfortunately Victoria took that as her cue to give her affirmation that she would be hiking and camping with us too and my eyes closed against the visual of her trying something on me whilst we were in unlockable tents. It sounded kind of presumptuous of me but the fact was I wouldn't put anything past Victoria in trying to get what she wanted and for whatever reason, right now, that was me.

The afternoon passed with arrangements being made for those of us who were taking the overnight trip. Besides Emmett, Sam, Bella, James, Angela, Victoria, Tyler and Ben, a few of the people from the other group had decided to come with us and the rest of our tourists were set up in motels and shown what other things they could do within the Blue Mountains until we saw them again the following afternoon. Emmett and I were keen hikers so we carefully monitored what the tour guide gave us and assured him that we would be able to read his map to get us to the Ruined Castle Campground and the surrounding lookouts that we were interested in. After reiterating how cold the night would be, the many safety issues that were important in our walk and observing that we would all have to carry our own water and equipment the guide dropped us off at the Golden Stairs with a cheery farewell and a demand for us all to be sensible and careful. We all assured him that we would be and set off down the steep stairway to begin the first part of our bushwalk.

The journey to the campground marked on our map would take us about 3 hours at a fairly moderate pace. Besides Victoria, who was constantly whinging about anything she possibly could, everyone appeared to be enjoying being in amongst the bush and looking at the flora and fauna of a different country. Tyler had been studying a little about the native plants and birds that might be found in our travels so he was able to often identify things that the rest of us really didn't know about. Although Bella's clumsiness was on the odd occasion very evident she never once slowed her pace or whined about the long walk or minor scratches she was inflicted with. She seemed as happy as the rest of us and I loved hearing her quiet chuckles or the lilt of her voice as she exclaimed over something new. Overall the walk was quite pleasant if I simply ignored Victoria's constant entreaties for someone to take her backpack, or her complaints about sore feet and the lack of anything to see. I found it entertaining to note that everyone else was ignoring her along with me until I finally got so annoyed that I grabbed her bag and added it to my own load with a grimace.

"Anything is better than listening to that noise," I whispered to Emmett when he gave me a look of surprised disapproval as Victoria simpered about what a gentleman I was. "Besides my mother would be mortified if she thought I wouldn't help a woman when she needed it, no matter what my feelings were for the said girl."

With a mounting sense of pride I observed that both Bella and Angela never relinquished their own bags for someone else to take for them, even when one of the boys offered to.

"After all we knew what we were getting into when we decided to come on this walk," Bella said a little scathingly with daggered looks at Victoria who was now walking freely without anything to encumber her and yet was still finding something to gripe about.

Victoria recognised the barb and answered in turn. "Maybe you're just upset that I have someone who cares enough about my comfort to want to help and you don't,"

My mouth gaped at what Victoria was alluding to and I watched as a flash of indignation crossed Bella's face before she carefully hid it. That comment there was almost enough for me to throw Victoria's backpack onto the ground with very little consideration. I was frozen in indecision when James brought himself into the conversation.

"I care enough to carry your backpack if you'd like me to Bella," He drawled and stepped towards her as if he would take it off her back. She stepped backwards away from him and answered with a whole lot of attitude, which for once was not directed at me.

"Um, no. I am more than capable of looking after myself thanks. I don't need a guy to carry my things for me." With a last withering look in James direction and then a look of reproach towards me she pushed past us all and continued on down the track, falling into step with Tyler who had not been aware of what had just taken place. Emmett and I watched her straightened back and determined stride and I could tell that Emmett was as proud of her as I was; either of us would have helped her in a heartbeat if it is what she needed but we loved her independence and her strength so her putting both Victoria and James in their place made us more than a little happy. James stared at Bella's retreating back with a touch of malice that made me feel very uncomfortable. He was not used to women telling him how it was and wouldn't have appreciated her rejection of his help in such a public way. Victoria's hatred was not well hidden at all and the shackles went up as I began to worry about what the two of them could do to make things difficult for Bella on this trip. It was obvious to me that James and Victoria had some kind of strange relationship going on and that their attempts to befriend both Bella and I had a hidden agenda. With those thoughts racing around in my head we all followed Bella's lead and continued walking but when I found Victoria by my side I couldn't help but put her in her place for what she had said to Bella.

"Just for the record Victoria, I am only carrying your things because I couldn't stand listening to your complaints any longer. Caring had nothing to do with it." Not very gentlemanly of me but I had a strong urge to reinforce what I really thought. "When it comes to my friends, I will always put them first. Always. If Bella needed me I wouldn't even have to think twice about it; her bags would be on my shoulder before I even considered yours. Luckily for you, Bella is strong enough to handle things on her own. Have I made my message clear enough?"

Victoria reddened and then scoffed at my words. "You two aren't friends. You can't stand being anywhere near one another and all she does is ignore you when you are. I wouldn't do that to you Eddie. Leave Bella to James and think more about what I could do for you."

"Well that just goes to show how much you know about me Victoria because as far as I am concerned Bella and I are most definitely friends. Appearances can be deceiving. I have no wish to fall into whatever plan you and James have concocted," I saw her stance suddenly change and worry was very much evident in her face. Aha I hadn't been wrong in my assumptions that James was putting her up to something. "Report that back to James if you wish but understand I will not allow either of you to hurt her." With a curt nod I lengthened my stride so that I could walk with Emmett and Sam and put Victoria behind me.

I was beginning to think that I was going to need reinforcements in ensuring that James and Victoria did not make Bella's time in Australia a misery and since Bella would not appreciate my assistance in any shape or form, I was going to have to rely on Emmett to be the one who came to her aide when it was needed...

...which I very much believed it would be.


	5. Chapter 4 - Mistakes

**One before Christmas….enjoy their camping trip **

Chapter 4

EPOV - Mistakes

Carrying two backpacks had taken it out of me so by the time we found the camping area, we would be staying at for the night, I was more than ready to collapse in a heap and never move again. Emmett had offered to take turns with me but it had been my own stupidity that led to me taking Victoria's pack so I felt I had the responsibility of following through on it. I dropped her pack on the ground and moved right away from the spot in the hopes that she would get the message that I did not want her setting up anywhere near me. Apparently she was thick skinned because she came over and tried to give me a kiss of thanks which I quickly thwarted by turning my face away from her. Bella caught my eye and the disgust was written all over her face before she crouched down to undo her pack and look for something inside.

"Victoria," I growled so that only she and I could hear. "Stop the games. You know I am not interested. I just made that quite clear."

"I don't think you know what you want darling," Victoria attempted to be seductive as she raised her hand to my chest and pressed lightly. It only made me want to lurch out of her reach. I kept steady though so she wouldn't get any joy out of my discomfort. "But you'll eventually work it out." She winked at me and headed over to James who had been watching with amusement. The two of them started a conversation but before I could get any idea of what they were up to I was distracted by Tyler handing over a drink bottle with a sympathetic expression.

"I don't think she is one that takes no too well." Tyler rolled his eyes in annoyance. "But good on you for letting her know how it was earlier."

"You heard that?" I asked with some trepidation, knowing that Bella had been walking with him and if he heard then so did she.

"Um yeah. Sound travels further in the bush Edward and you weren't actually that quiet."

"You heard everything I said?"

"Well that depends on what everything was?" Tyler seemed to be concentrating and I was starting to sweat about what Bella would have thought of my words. I could only imagine that she would be annoyed by my defence and me telling Victoria to report back to James.

"Just the part where you told Victoria that you would always put friends first and that had Bella needed help you would have given it. I think you might have even impressed Bella by saying that luckily she was strong enough to handle things on her own. She actually broke a smile out for that one."

From Tyler's comments I could tell that my threat towards Victoria and James hurting Bella hadn't been loud enough for them to hear and it was something I was very happy about. I did not want anything I said or did to push Bella closer to James than she already was.

"Um. Okay. Good to know," We both moved across the cleared space where we would be setting up camp and found Sam and Emmett already starting to pull out the tents. Tyler and I immediately gave our assistance and before long the majority of us were working together to put up the tents for us to sleep in tonight. Already the light was dimming so we were keen to be done with setup before we couldn't see anything at all. Victoria and one of the guys from the other group, Paul, weren't very helpful and Emmett sent them off to get firewood for the pit that Sam had asked James to dig for us. All too soon we were finished and Victoria and Paul had a small pile of wood waiting for the campfire to start. Ben and Tyler found some largish logs and moved them over to produce a makeshift seating area around the outside where we would have the fire and I plopped heavily down on one of them as we all admired our handiwork.

"I think we are going to need more wood than that," Sam eyed the small pile next to the fire and then stood up. "Anyone care to join me?"

Emmett, Tyler, Ben and Angela agreed to help and the five of them began scavenging a little way off from our campsite so that I couldn't see them but I could still hear them. I felt guilty for not helping but really wanted five minutes of down time as my back was starting to seize up from the heavy load I had carried. I took stock of what was going on around me and saw that James and a girl named Jade were trying to get the fire going. I promised myself that if they didn't have it going in a few minutes time I would offer my assistance but for now they were alright. Bella had been inside the tent that she was sharing with Angela and Ben but was making her way out again. I smirked when I thought back to when we were organising who was sleeping where and I had overheard Bella pleading with Angela not to allow her to be stuck with Victoria as a sleeping buddy yet again. Angela had very quickly offered for Bella to sleep with them and Bella had looked ridiculously relieved. I couldn't blame her.

Victoria was currently trying to beautify herself as she looked into a hand held mirror. She did understand we were in the bush, right? Bella's roll of her eyes made me think that she was asking herself the same question and she almost gave me a smile when she saw that I was amused by Victoria's vanity. Almost…..

"So I've heard that the sunset is pretty spectacular if you watch it from the top of the ruined castle," Jade said as she tried to light the fire. She wasn't too bad at it actually; it was only when James interfered that her attempts were squandered and she would patiently start again. She was being a good sport about his shortcomings in the area of lighting fires and held it together really well.

"Why would there be a ruined castle out here anyway?" Victoria questioned as she slavered more lip gloss onto her already shining lips. I almost choked on nothing as we all looked at her aghast.

"Ah there isn't a real ruined castle out here Victoria," Jade spoke as if she was talking to a child and I looked to the ground so that no one else could see how hard it was for me not to burst out laughing. "The ruined castle is just the name they came up with for a rock formation out here. You know because it kind of looked like one."

"What?" Victoria screeched. "You mean I've walked all this way just to see nothing but a pile of old rocks."

"You've walked all this way to experience nature," Bella explained through gritted teeth. "Didn't you hear Aiden explain what it was we would be seeing if we chose to do the walk?"

"I had better things to do than listen to some boring spiel about the bush Bella."

"Apparently using your brain wasn't one of them," Bella mumbled under her breath and Victoria took a step towards her as if she had heard the insult. My own body moved to intercept before I even knew what I was doing and then I quickly froze before my intention of going into protection mode would be noticed by anyone else.

"Well I say we should go for a walk up and take a look at that sunset," James interrupted the glare down between the two girls. The slightest shake of his head towards Victoria made me frown because she instantly looked contrite and turned her back on Bella. Jade quickly agreed to taking the walk as if she too wanted to alleviate some of the tension between Victoria and Bella. "What do you say Bella? A quick walk to watch the sunset sounds like a lovely way to end the day doesn't it?"

"Actually I think I will pass on that thanks,"

"What? The all so perfect Bella who enjoys nature so much is not as interested in enjoying the bush as much as she wanted us to believe? Maybe there are other reasons you want to stay behind Bella?" Victoria's snide remark hit the mark as she looked very pointedly at me suggesting to Bella that the only reason she would be staying behind was to spend time with me. Bella's face reddened at the suggestion and I could tell she was in two minds as to what to do. Bella wasn't one to step down from a challenge; I had learnt that a long time ago.

"Come on Bella. There's enough of me to go around," James said with his usual cockiness. "You'll enjoy the view."

"And I could do with the added company," Jade admitted, looking at James and Victoria with a slight sigh of trepidation.

After a whole lot of nagging from James and a few barbed remarks from Victoria about how she was better than Bella, Bella conceded and decided to go with them. I considered going with them just to keep my mind at ease about Bella being with two people I disliked so much but I was aware that someone needed to stay behind to watch the fire and Bella was a big girl who could look after herself. Besides Jade was walking with them and as far as I could see she was pretty savvy when it came to nature and I was sure that James and Victoria would behave themselves with someone else there.

"Be careful,"

"Aww shucks Edward. I didn't know you cared," James threw at me with a sarcastic sneer to his face. I concentrated all my attention on Bella so that she would see the message was for her.

"Jade, Bella. Be careful. It isn't too far to the ruins but the light is fading fast. Stay on the track. Once the sun has set, get back here as quickly as possible. I don't want to ruin your fun but seriously you need to be careful on the track at night, even if it is such a short way."

Jade clicked her heels together jokingly and gave me a 'aye, aye, captain.' but Bella merely looked at me blankly.

"Promise me, Bella." I said with a little too much concern in my voice. If I could have my own way they wouldn't be going up at all.

"Yeah, yeah she promises but you needn't worry Edward, I am more than willing and able to keep Bella close and safe." James emphasised the word close as his arm fell across Bella's shoulders in a suggestive manner that made me want to rip them from him without any remorse whatsoever. Bella shrugged herself out from under his arm and grabbed a drink bottle from her pack. She followed Jade, Victoria and James as they walked away from the campsite with my eyes watching every move she made. At the last moment she turned back to me and the disconcerted expression was enough to tell me she was baffled by my concern for her. She nodded at me and mouthed the word 'promise'

The campsite seemed empty once they left and I began to worry that I should have done more to stop them from going up to the ruins so close to nightfall. I pacified myself with the knowledge that Jade had stated that the sunset was meant to be beautiful from the top of the ruins which would indicate that it was a popular thing for people to do when camping out here. If that was the case then the track must be good and the trail had to be safe. I convinced myself of my own paranoia and tried to put it out of my mind that I had left Bella to the wolves; the wolves being James and Victoria.

The rest of our group returned laden with sticks for our campfire and I busied myself with helping get the fire going into a blaze. When I explained to Emmett, after his question about where Bella was, about the trip up to watch the sunset, he didn't show any anxiety at all, telling me that he had also heard that the sunset was meant to be exceptional viewing from up there and it wasn't a hard trip to get there or back. A small amount of tension eased away with his words and I relaxed into the group's conversations as we settled in and started preparing food for our dinner.

Fifteen minutes after sundown I began to get that awful feeling in the pit of my stomach that told you something was not right. Bella's group had not returned yet and my constant peering into the darkness beyond our campfire alerted Emmett to my apprehension.

"They will be here any minute Edward. Relax. If Bella knew you were stressing like this over her she would be absolutely put out that you didn't trust her."

"It's not her I don't trust," I murmured.

"Yeah well besides tying her down against her will and forcing her to stay at camp, there was nothing you could have done to stop her from going off with James. She is her own woman Edward."

"I know that Emmett, which is why I didn't even attempt to stop her but what if something has happened?" Sudden light from torches and the scuffle of footsteps through the bush to our right ended my bleak musings. They were back finally.

Jade's sudden appearance in the light of the fire exposed her ashen face and her panicked expression so that I rose instantly to calm her down.

"We've lost Bella. I told James we had to go back but he wouldn't let me. Said she was probably ahead of us but I knew she wasn't. She's not here, is she?"

Fear threaded its way through my body. I felt it sharply right in my heart so that the only thing I was registering was Jade's assertion that Bella was lost. I grabbed Jade's arms by the elbows as gently as my alarm would allow.

"What do you mean lost? Where is she? How did you get separated? Where are James and Victoria?"

"As soon as I saw the fire I ran the last bit of the trail because I just knew she wasn't here and we need to get back out to find her. It will be freezing out there soon. I shouldn't have let James push me into returning. We should have stayed there and found her."

Emmett's abrupt interruption mirrored my own thoughts. "Don't worry about what you should have done; tell us where she is likely to be. We need to get out there to her."

Before Jade could respond James and Victoria sidled into the campsite looking rather sheepish and obviously searching the area for a sign that Bella was ahead of them and safely here with us. They found nothing in return. I leapt at James before Emmett, Ben or Sam could stop me and had him by the scruff of his shirt as I spat my fury at him.

"You left her out there on her own. You said you would keep her safe and you've returned here WITHOUT her. I should just..."

"Woa, woa, woa," Sam took hold of my arm and pulled me forcefully away from James who was looking at me belligerently. "You're not helping Bella by standing here and fighting with this cockroach Edward. Let him be and concentrate on what matters."

My chest was heaving with the effort of restraining myself from letting out all my fear and concern onto the man in front of me. Sam was right and we needed to get out there and find Bella. I could only assume that she was hurt somewhere because otherwise she would have been able to get herself back to camp. She wasn't an ignorant person who would easily get herself lost.

I stepped back towards James and pushed my pointed finger into his chest. "If you have done anything to hurt her, I will seriously end you. If we don't find her, you better make sure that you are as far away as possible from me so I never find you. This is not over. Not by a long shot."

When the red fire of my temper had abated enough that I could actually take in my surroundings I saw Emmett quickly thrusting things into a bag and gathering torches. His intention was clear; we were going to go search for Bella right now. Jade was sitting on a log sobbing to Tyler about how she shouldn't have allowed herself to be distracted by Victoria and James and that she would never forgive herself for leaving Bella to fend for herself. I couldn't focus on her grief and guilt though. She would have to explain to me later how this had happened when the track they had been on was meant to be so easy to find and follow.

"Come on Edward. Let's go," Emmett passed a torch to me along with a bag that had extra clothing, first aid kit, food and water in it. I took the bag without sound and flung it onto my back.

"I'm coming too." Ben stood steadfastly and Emmett and I both nodded in agreement. Tyler and Sam made to follow us as well but Emmett asked them to stay and keep things in order back here at camp. Sam sat down beside Jade and asked her a few questions about the last place she had seen Bella. I took in her answers and put them to memory. As far as Jade was concerned Bella had been right behind her taking a few photos of the rocks in the setting sun. Once she had realised that Bella was no longer there she had told James that they needed to go back but James had said no.

"I didn't think it was a good idea to separate." James defended himself and in a way he was right. "I'll come and help..."

"Don't even think about it." I growled at James. He sat back down and allowed the three of us to head towards the ruins.

One would expect that it would be eerily quiet out in the bush but there were so many sounds invading my senses as we carefully made our way up the short track to where the ruins were marked on our map. The only noise I wanted to hear, however, was Bella but that remained unreachable. She was nowhere to be seen or heard on the track and once we got to the ruins there was still no response to our shouts of her name.

"Maybe she got confused in the dark and took the track towards Mount Solitary rather than towards our camp," Emmett speculated when we realised that she was either not here or was hurt and couldn't hear us. We searched every little rock and crevice and tried not to think about the fact that we were dangerously close to cliffs if she had in fact wandered off the track. We set off in the opposite direction to where we had come from until we came to a fork in the track. One led to Mount Warning and eventually Wentworth Falls and the other led to an unused mine. We argued for a small amount of time about which way to go, knowing that it was not safe to split up but my need to get to Bella as soon as possible outweighed our own safety and I chose to go alone towards the mine whilst Emmett and Sam would walk towards the famous plateau. With a muttered good luck we separated and went in our own directions hoping that one of us would be able to find our missing friend.

Twenty minutes later I was within the mining area and saw that it was littered with so many holes and places where Bella could have accidently fallen. I yelled out desperately for her but only the echo of my own voice could be heard through the stifling darkness. It was near impossible to find anyone or anything in this situation and I was beginning to lose heart. I wouldn't give up of course but the twinge of fear that I had been feeling since we left the camp was growing into a much more uncontrollable monster that could easily consume me. I needed for Bella to be alright.

My voice was becoming rough with the strain of yelling and I stopped for a moment to wet my throat with a quick drink of the water I was carrying. Unexpectedly the silence was broken by a faint response to my own shouting. It came from the direction I had already come from and without hesitation I walked briskly back, listening for the sound of my name to come again.

"Edward. I'm here Edward."

The disembodied voice came from the side of the track and I stopped to get my bearings.

"Bella,"

"Oh thank god. I'm down here. Be careful there is a bit of a drop off the side of the track."

My light flashed downwards and there I saw what I had been hoping for ever since Bella had left our camp for her walk. Her returning gaze appeared to be a little out of it and my quick scan of my body told me that she had hit her head somewhere along the way because there was a cut on her forehead that was seeping blood but at least she was alive and functioning well enough to call out to me.

"Okay hold still. I'm coming down to you," I scuttled down the side of the ravine and although all my attention was on the girl below I still took stock of the situation and knew that I was going to need Emmett and Sam's help to get back out again. I wasn't going to leave her down there to wait alone though. The temperature had dropped considerably and although I was warmed up from the efforts of searching for her, she had been sitting or lying in a gully on the damp ground. I wanted to check her out with my own eyes and my own hands to ensure she wasn't in anymore danger.

As soon as I reached her side she seemed to relax and gave me a self-deprecating smile. "I feel so stupid," She spoke through chattering teeth and I didn't answer her; just opened my bag and pulled out the extra jumper and blanket that Emmett had placed in there. I gently helped her put it on when she told me that there was nothing wrong with her arms or back. Once she was enclosed in the blanket and had taken a sip of the water I gave her I started appraising her condition.

"Are you hurt?" My fingers grazed the small amount of blood that had already dried at the edge of her hair line. It didn't look deep enough for stitches but it could have definitely been a hard enough knock for her to have been out for a while. I watched her carefully for any signs of shock. She seemed to be breathing normally and her skin did not feel clammy to touch. She was definitely cold but that was more from the weather and she seemed to be well aware of what was happening around of us. I gave a sigh of relief that we didn't have the added problem of dealing with the onset of shock, although I would keep my eye on her to make sure I didn't miss anything that would say otherwise.

"Um. Only this," She raised her hand and her fingers skimmed my own making me suck in my breath at the unexpected coil of emotions that hit me that she was really okay and actually touching me to prove it. "And also my ankle; I rolled it which led to me falling down here. I didn't see the edge."

"Well it's kind of hard to see anything out here in the dark without a torch. How on earth did you get separated from the others?"

When I moved the torch so that it could shine onto Bella's ankle the swelling appeared quite considerable and I blanched at the amount of pain she must be in. The doctor in me told me that she had managed to sprain her ankle. It needed to be iced but all I had with me was water. I grabbed one of the bandages and proceeded to wet it thoroughly and hung it on a branch near us so that it would hopefully get as cold as possible in the dropping temperatures. Whilst we waited I gently manoeuvred her foot and retreated into doctor mode when my ministrations made her cringe in pain. I hated that I was hurting her in any way.

"I'm sorry Bella. I don't want to hurt you. I want to see how much damage there is,"

"Fine. Just get it over with please." Her hand clutched at the blanket I had placed around her every time I touched her foot in any way.

"It's sprained Bella and once we are out of here you will have to get xrays to make sure there is no fracture." I grabbed the wet bandage and folded it into a kind of pretend ice pack, placing it on her ankle to try and alleviate some of the swelling. She hissed at the contact and yet again I flinched for my part in making her hurt. We both needed a distraction."Why don't you explain to me how you managed to lose your hiking buddies Bella."

Bella managed to look chastened as I moved into a position where I could keep her leg elevated by resting it on the backpack in my lap. I motioned for her to tell me her story whilst I looked for something for her to eat. She took my offering gratefully and ate before speaking.

"How long will we be out here?" So much for finding out what had happened. I decided to ignore her change of subject and answered her question the best way I could.

"I'm not sure. Emmett and Sam were with me and when we got to the fork of the track we split up. I imagine after they've had no luck finding you in their direction that they will come back to find me in this one. The mine is the end of the track this way so they will have nowhere to go if we accidently miss them on their pass through. They'll help get us out and we will get back to the camp. Easy."

"Yeah easy," She whispered back to me, clearly concerned that we were in more danger than I was letting on. I was actually pretty honest in my assessment though. As soon as Emmett and Sam came back this way we would be fine. We had already determined that if nothing was found within half an hour we would return to the fork. When I didn't turn up there they would follow the track further towards us; I trusted Emmett explicitly in this. It was just keeping ourselves warm as well as stopping Bella from going into shock that was important at this stage and we could work together to do that.

"Bella, I am going to wrap your ankle okay?" When she nodded I took another bandage from the first aid kit and began to bandage her foot as carefully as I could. "Did you pass out at all when you fell?"

"Um no not at first. I felt a bit hazy when it first happened but I think I must have fallen asleep after a while because it felt like you were calling out to me through a fog and it was then that I realised I wasn't imagining the yelling but you were actually calling out to me." She was shivering violently as she answered my question and I rubbed my hands up and down her arm to get some warmth back into her body. She stared at me with gratefulness. "Thank you for coming to find me Edward. I don't know what I would have done if I had been stuck out here all night alone."

Luckily the darkness covered the reddening of my face as I listened to the first direct words to me that were positive from her mouth for the past months. I felt remarkably out of my depth as my gaze bore back into hers.

"There was never any question Bella. You know that Emmett would move heaven and earth to make sure you were safe and I tagged along. Simple. You were never going to be left out here alone for long." I broke our gaze and looked down at her foot to make sure she was still comfortable. The shaking was still apparent and the only way I knew to fix that was by doing something I knew she wouldn't be happy about.

"I need to hold you Bella," Her face immediately showed alarm and I quickly went on to explain myself. "You're cold and I need to warm you up. The best way to do that is through our combined body warmth and the closer we are the better.

"Are...are you serious?" Her stuttering response made me defensive and it was hard to keep the narkiness from my voice.

"Yes Bella I am. I know it is the last thing you want; me anywhere near you but it's the best way to stop us from being any worse off than we already are. I promise I have no intention of doing anything inappropriate. I only want to help you."

For a few seconds she regarded me and a look of resignation crossed her face before she nodded to let me know we could get closer. I berated myself for feeling hurt by her reluctance and shuffled nearer until our bodies were aligned side by side. She lifted the blanket and let it fall back down so that the two of us were under it and her scent engulfed me more than ever. I tensed up at the initial bombardment and then yielded to the feel of her softness against me and the almost instant calming of her shivering that took place with our contact. I hesitatingly moved my arm to surround her shoulders and she snaked her arm across my stomach before burying her head into my chest. We both sat there, pressed together and our breathing erratic as the surrealism of the situation hit us. After a small amount of silence we both began to relax and soon I could feel her heart begin to move into a more sedate rhythm against my side that matched my own calmed speed. She felt divine against me and I wished with everything I had that this could have been for a whole different reason, rather than nearness for the purpose of survival.

After minutes of warming up Bella began to tell me how she had ended up in this place and time. She had been taking photos, not really noticing that the others had moved away as she was trying to stay as far away as possible from Victoria anyway and when she finally realised it, they had been out of view. She hadn't really thought much of it, determining that she would easily catch up with them but in the darkness she had gotten her bearings mixed up and came out on the wrong track, leading in the wrong direction. Soon she had panicked because she couldn't see or hear anything at all and as she began to yell out for them to help her she had slipped, rolled her ankle and slid into the deep ravine we were currently in. She sighed deeply at the conclusion of her tale and tilted her face so that her breath tickled my neck but her ear was still lying on my chest. "So stupid of me seriously. I can't believe I let this happen."

"We all make mistakes Bella."

She stiffened in my arms and I could tell that she forced herself to calm down again before she responded. "Some bigger than others, right?"

"I guess... but are we talking about you now or me?" My soft question seemed to lose itself into the inky blackness because she chose not to answer and for some reason, in the here and now of our predicament, that was alright by me; even maybe made me happy not to be bringing out old hurts and accusations when we were so vulnerable to the elements outside of ourselves.

"Do you think they will be long?" Bella murmured.

"I don't think so," My hand moved backwards and forwards over the top of her arm and I told myself it was to keep her warm even though I knew I was also doing it for the sensation of skin to skin touch. "Why don't you try and rest? I will listen out for them."

Neither of us spoke again and her even breathing made me believe that she had taken my offer to heart and fallen asleep. The top of her head was mere centimetres from my lips and wisps of her hair tickled at my mouth but I wasn't willing to move in case I disturbed her. Instead I let my lips drop a little to press a light kiss to her temple and absorbed the fact that no matter what she was safe here in my arms. The outcome could have been so much worse and I tightened my grip at the thought that my entreaty to be careful had been ignored and almost resulted in a tragedy.

"You promised me Bella." Fell from my lips in a hushed resonance and Bella stirred slightly before murmuring back.

"And I honestly never meant to break that promise Edward. I am sorry for making you do this."

The shock of discovering that she was actually awake to be aware of my words and to feel my impulsive kiss kept me silent for longer than I should have been. When I eventually spoke again it was with the truth.

"No need to be sorry,"

Little did she realise that for her I would do this a hundred times over. She meant too much to do otherwise and regardless of her dislike, cool distances and barbed accusations I would do this time and time again to keep her safe. Really there was no other choice.


	6. Chapter 5: Riddles

**Thanks for reading. I know they're a little frustrating but hope they get there eventually ;) **

Chapter Five

BPOV - Riddles

The steady beat of his heart and the warmth he had cocooned me in led to that serene place in between wakefulness and sleep where you were vaguely aware of what was happening around you but it wasn't overly important. My head was screaming at me not to allow this closeness; that it would only serve to make my determination to stay away from Edward that much harder but every other part of me just deferred to the notion that this felt good; that Edward was able to give me what I needed to survive and nothing else mattered.

Through my hazy awareness of how we were pressed together to retain warmth, and that I could feel the strength and hardness of his well exercised body against mine, I felt his soft sighs and the mesmerising touch of his hand as it stroked back and forth along my arm. I was lulled into a deep sense of tranquillity which was ridiculous given that we were lost and cold in an unfamiliar place. From far away I thought I felt the pressing of his lips against my forehead but then I convinced myself that I had been wrong; that I was feeling things that weren't even there. I didn't dream up his words when he spoke though, even though they were said in such a hushed tone.

"You promised me Bella."

My heart stuttered a little as I thought of the concern he had displayed at the beginning of this ill thought out walk. I had allowed Victoria to get to me and James to talk me into doing something I was not overly keen on because the alternative had been spending more time alone with Edward and I was beginning to realise that that was more than a bad idea. He was getting under my skin as evidenced by our moment up on the Harbour Bridge days ago. I had left him behind at the campsite, knowing that he was worried and at the last minute I had made sure that he knew I was willing to promise to keep safe. Huh. Good job I did with that too. It hurt me to know that I had put Edward into danger through my own stupidity and pride; he shouldn't be out here in the cold trying to comfort the very person who always treated him so badly.

"And I honestly never meant to break that promise Edward. I am sorry for making you do this."

"No need to be sorry,"

I pressed my forehead deeper into his chest so that he couldn't witness my embarrassment or my confusion. "Why are you being so nice to me? Why would you risk yourself for someone who has been so ...cold?"

"Surely that's pretty clear Bella," He stated softly. I pulled away from him a little and his arm reflexively held tighter for a couple of seconds before he reluctantly let me go. I tried to ignore the meaning of that reluctance. We were getting into dangerous territory here.

"No actually it's not Edward. You have this whole patient, kind, perfect persona going on and you seemed like you might have cared about me at one stage but then you...you were willing to...oh god how could you have..."

Edward grabbed my face between his hands and although his touch was gentle it was full of restrained exasperation. "What Bella? What did I do to you? "

The innocent entreaty resulted in an answering surge of annoyance to rage through me which meant that Edward got the full brunt of my ire. "How can you pretend you don't know Edward? Is it such a normal occurrence for you to treat people as less than nothing that it doesn't even register as something wrong; something that would make me want to stay away from you?" My voice betrayed my distress with its shakiness. "Did you really think I was the type of girl to just accept that kind of behaviour and then move beyond friendship with you? I don't think so Edward Cullen. I will never allow myself be in that situation because I will never let myself be that close to you. I won't be that silly girl who let's your perfection overrule her common sense and then has to pay the price by being kicked to the kerbside. That's not me."

Edward and I had moved apart a little during my mini tirade and his disbelieving eyes were now narrowed in barely concealed anger. His tightened jaw and clenched fists showed me that he was barely restraining from lashing back at me with his own poisoned words. Two thoughts flitted across my mind as I watched him; why was anger there instead of the guilt he surely should be displaying after my accusations and more importantly why did I still find him so appealing when it was quite evident that he was only just in control of his anger. There was definitely something wrong with me.

"I have to tell you Bella, that this is getting old. As far as I am concerned I have done nothing wrong; particularly to you because if I had, I would be apologising profusely in the hope of at least salvaging a friendship, not sitting here denying knowing why you've despised me all these months. If you seriously think that I am able to treat people like dirt; that I would ever even consider doing that to you...then you know nothing about me at all." His fists were clenching and unclenching now against his jean clad thighs as he took deep calming breaths and the short respite from his words had me starting to second guess myself. He seemed so genuine in what he was saying even through his aggravation. "You do realise that if you could just be upfront with me that we could have this sorted within seconds and we wouldn't have to be playing these stupid games Bella...we could be friends again."

I remained silent and he exhaled once more in frustration.

"Obviously I didn't do anything directly to you because otherwise I would be aware of my big bad sin so I can only assume that you are basing your antagonism on something that you were told by another person. That seems really unfair to me Bella. You're going by hearsay and I have never been given the opportunity to defend myself. Are you willing to lose the possibility of ...I don't know...whatever it could have been...friendship...more...whatever...because of hearsay or even downright lies without knowing for sure? You're an intelligent woman Bella. Can't you see that having my side of the story is only going to help us move past this?"

_Stricken looks as the evidence was shown to me. The ashen pallor of a tear stained face as a confession unknowingly strengthened my pain. The sagging shoulders of a person walking away knowing that their life had changed irrevocably._

"I saw the evidence," I stated with too much uncertainty.

"Good. Explain it to me."

"I can't. I made a promise."

"Well speak to the person involved and force them to allow you to break that promise."

"I wish I could. I am so confused and have so many questions but...she's gone."

"Well that's convenient, isn't it?" The sarcasm did not sit well with me.

"Not really," I countered with my own scorn. He ignored it though, lost in his own thoughts. A shiver ran through me and I knew it was more than the unforgiving coldness surrounding us that sent icy fingers of fear down my spine. We were getting to the stage where he might as well admit to his transgressions and without a doubt that was going to hurt me more than I was willing to deal with. It was disconcerting when he took a completely different tack than I was expecting.

"Wait, you said she's gone. That means a girl is behind this. Did she say that we ...?" His eyebrows furrowed with wariness. "Bella I would never cheat on you."

"We were never together so you couldn't exactly cheat on me Edward,"

"I guess but still...if something like that...do you know what, I am sick of going around and around in riddles."

"Well we wouldn't have to if you stopped pretending you don't know what I am talking about and making out that you've been hard done by. If you would stop LYING Edward it would be out in the open and I wouldn't have to break any promises and I could get on with my life without feeling all torn because I have morals that I intend to uphold. You don't make anything easy for me. Nothing!"

"Easy for you? Do you think this is easy for me? I'm not pretending anything Bella and maybe if you would stop hiding behind some ridiculous promise you made then life would be easier for BOTH OF US. You would have to be the most frustrating woman that I have ever..."

The echoing sound of Emmett and Ben's shouting brought an abrupt halt to the fiery discussion we found ourselves in. Edward glared at me as if I had magically conjured up yet another way of avoiding the issue between us. He thrust his hands haphazardly through his hair and then yelled back in a loud but strained voice.

"We're down here Emmett...Ben." He pointed the flashlight up into the air so that they could hopefully see the light from where they were.

The noise of scurrying footsteps could be heard above us and soon two beams of light were pointed directly at us so that we caught only momentary glimpses of Emmett and Ben's relieved faces.

"Are you two alright down there?" Emmett questioned and I quelled the sudden desire I had to laugh hysterically. No we were not alright. I had allowed Edward, to once again, put a dent in my armour and rather than getting anything out of our enforced time together I now had more questions swirling around in my head. Questions I couldn't afford if I was going to keep Edward at an arms distance as I had managed all these months.

"We're fine generally but Bella has sprained her ankle and we can't get out of here without assistance." Edward's response was wooden and I gave him a quick sidelong glance to see that his face was set into a cold mask.

"Bells. How bad is the pain?" Emmett yelled down towards me. His question surprised me as I had not been thinking of the pain in my leg at all. I sent back my own message that I could handle it and then tried to ignore the uncomfortable throbbing that was all of sudden more evident now that he had brought my attention back to it. A few minutes passed where the three men made decisions about the best way to get me out of the ravine and then back to camp. All too soon a rope was being thrown down to us and Edward was tugging heavily on it to ascertain just how stable it was after Emmett had tied it to a tree.

"Are you ready?" Edward asked in clipped tones as he tied the backpack to the rope and had Ben and Emmett easily haul it back to the top before dropping the rope back to us.

"I guess." I responded quietly. "Look Edward I am sorry about how tense things got. You did me a huge favour by coming after me to help and I repaid you with arguments and accusations. That wasn't fair."

Edward shrugged noncommittally. "Like I said before Bella, we would never leave you out here to fend for yourself. As for the rest of it, I'm done. When you've decided to see me as the person I am rather than this tyrant you've made up in your head based on other people's whispers, then feel free to come speak to me. And I will tell you one more thing; you're so busy safe guarding yourself from hurt that you don't even realise that you've made some kind of mistake and that I would never be the one to intentionally hurt you. Now let's get you out of here,"

His words blindsided me and he almost had me completely in his embrace before I realised what he was doing, so enthralled I was by his words.

"W...what are you doing?"

He tucked his body so it was under me and I was clumsily holding onto his back and shoulders.

"You're going to have to get on my back so I can carry you and still have both hands free to hold onto the rope and pull us up."

Um. Really?"

"Yes really Bella. I recognise how being this close to a monster must put a strain on your morals and all that but if you want to get out of here you are going to have to wrap your legs around my waist, hold on tight and pretend you're somewhere far, far away from my offensive self. It should only take a matter of minutes."

It did only take a few minutes before we were back at the top and I was being hugged by both Ben and Emmett as they enthusiastically congratulated Edward on finding me and overtly observed the condition we were in. Edward had been wrong though. Being held against the hard lines of his body and feeling every nuance and subtle movement beneath every spot my body touched his, whilst he carefully manoeuvred to get us out of the ravine, was far from abhorrent to me. In fact my traitorous body let me know exactly how much it enjoyed it and my brain involuntarily wondered if I could ever get that close again in a much less stressful situation.

My heart told me I would never be able to handle it.


End file.
